Monday, 11 May 2020

Mystery lovechild: the results

Thanks so much to all who joined in with the latest instalment of this absurd and trivial challenge.  I've realised that it's a bit like cooking a complicated meal; takes ages to prepare, finesse and serve up, and then it's all gone in a fraction of the time.  Just the washing up to do now...  and some indigestion tablets to gulp down.

Anyway, we started off with an amiable-looking character; I've got so used to looking at this new bespectacled face now that the actual origins somehow no longer look real to me.  'Helen', as Alyson has playfully named her (absolutely!), is essentially Bonnie Raitt, with just Buddy Holly's eyes and nose, but what a difference they make.  Both were correctly and quickly identified by Martin.


Next up, what do you get when you combine Kurt Cobain and Celine Dion? ( The top half of Kurt's face and hair, with the lower half of Celine's. ) You get a young man called 'Kyle', according to Alyson.  Martin correctly identified the Nirvana vocalist, and a warm welcome goes to Douglas McLaren who correctly spotted Celine - many thanks for joining in.  

No. 3 proved tricky.  No, not that Tricky.  It's Stormzy, or at least the lower half of his face, combined with Nona Hendryx looking suitably exotic, even more so with Stormzy's beard.  Another warm welcome and many thanks also to the soul of a collector for dropping by and correctly identifiying Michael Ebenazer Kwadjo Omair Owuo Jr straight away.  Alyson was so close with her Patti Labelle suggestion, but with a little nudge in the same direction realised it's acutally Patti's fellow Labelle member Nona instead.

Who's responsible for this living doll?  Rigid Digit was straight off the starting blocks to identify Cliff Richard, but wasn't 100% sure if Lulu might be the other half.  Martin also thought it could be Lulu.  You were both right.  Congratulations!

("... looks like an Angela to me," says Martin too.  I have to agree.)

Jon Bon Jovi and Patti Smith give love a bad name with this mystery lovechild...  Well done to Martin.

But Martin had earlier wondered if Bruce Springsteen's genes were in the mix.  I can see why.

*However I must reiterate that all lovechildren featured here must be genetically possible, i.e. with male/female parents.  Even if some of them would have had to have  their eggs or sperm frozen.  But, you know, I have to keep this realistic...

Ah, look what happens when you give Britney Spears an Ed Sheeran haircut!  As Alyson says, you get a kindly face who looks like a Frances.  And it's actually Britney's complete face, but seems that hair makes all the difference so, although Martin was quick to identify Ed, an extra clue was needed to spot this particular 'Princess of Pop'.  Maybe it would have been easier if they'd both shaved their heads...

Damon Albarn and Joan Jett combine to make one badass mean girl. (I reckon she's called Donna...)  Rigid Digit and Martin both wondered if real-life associates of Damon had something to do with this but I can confirm that neither Phil Daniels* nor Justine Frischmann were anywhere to be seen at the time of conception.

I don't know what happened down in Devil Gate Drive to result in this, but here she is.  Rigid Digit was quick to identify both Suzi Quatro and Robin Gibb.

I didn't think it would take too long to recognise this Stray Cat's enormous quiff and indeed Martin pinpointed Brian Setzer straight away.  But the lower half of this lovechild's face took far longer to identify as belonging to Miley Cyrus, in spite of valiant attempts from both Martin and Alyson.

And finally, although Martin was quick to recognise Janet Jackson here, Chuck Berry (the owner of those eyes, mouth and pencil moustache) also took a little more time to get right.  

And that's the lot.

Everyone who played along got a least one answer right, with Martin bagging the most and Rigid Digit a clear second place.  And it turns out Rol knew more than he let on, as confided he'd been to school with most of them...

But no points and no prizes - just another five minutes of your time wasted, I'm afraid!  Thanks to everyone for such astute detective work.


  1. Thanks C for another instalment of this fun puzzler - I can imagine it took a lot of time and skill to put together. I just hope no-one with the names we assigned to the faces above drop by!

    1. Thanks Alyson. I rushed this one a bit but it still took a disproportionate amount of time; however I must say it is fun to do, you just never quite know how they're going to end up.
      Don't worry about the assigned names, I'm not going to - I've had a lifetime of people jumping to wrong conclusions about my name and associations, as has Mr SDS, so I'm sure they can take it too!

  2. I'm sure I went out with number 5.
    I met her in a pub down in old Soho

    1. Ah, she must've been called Lola...

  3. Dang, I missed out on this round completely. Well done, C, as always. I find the Jon Bon Jovi/Patti Smith one particularly disturbing. Hope you and Mr. SDS are well.

    1. Thanks Brian, sorry you missed it too. No. 9 is the one that gives me nightmares. Who'd have thought it?! Hope you and your family are all doing well too - we're fine, thanks.

  4. I will admit that I usually do ok at this quiz but this time you had me completely flummoxed. I could spot a couple of halves (Bon Jovi's perm is unique) but beyond that I had no idea. Well done, C, and well done to those far more observant than me.

    1. Thanks Rol. It's definitely one of those "easy when you know the answers" challenges I think. But taken out of context, noses and eyes, etc. can be very difficult to place!


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