Oops. I was just about to start this post with the words, “Don’t you just hate it when…?” but that would have been exactly the kind of generalisation which irks me enough to actually write something today.
It’s just that lately I've noticed more and more prevalence of the type of statement which begins “Because we all like… “ or “Everybody needs…” or "We all want...", etc. And I don't like it!
It frequently crops up - on TV, in ads, in written articles, etc. For example, “We all love a picnic, don’t we?” some annoyingly merry voice will announce at the start of an inane magazine show segment about strawberries, or wasps, or wet-wipes… Sure, I don’t mind a picnic or two as it happens; you know, a bottle of wine and a crusty baguette will do very nicely thank you, and don’t forget the Brie, but I really do dislike the assumption that the entire population will feel the same way…
A little while back I was waiting at the dentists and a receptionist, a woman around the same age as me, announced to her colleague “Ooh, I can’t wait to get home and listen to some Michael Bublé!”
“Mmm, yes!” her colleague replied as she printed out my next appointment card. “Everybody needs a bit of Michael Bublé in their life, don’t they?” and with this she looked up at me expectantly. Oh god, how could she even begin to think I might like Michael Bublé? Oh please! Did the 666 tattoo on my forehead not tell her otherwise? (It’s at times like this that I do have a hanker for one). I know it was a bid to include me but oh, I wish she hadn’t, because all I could hear was my naughty inner voice echoing around the chambers of my mind:
“No! I can’t fucking stand Michael Bublé!”
And all I could do was to be grateful that my facemask hid my involuntary grimace whilst hoping she thought I hadn’t heard. Everybody needs a bit of Michael Bublé in their life?! I would love to know what Iggy Pop might have said in response, although I appreciate that his presence at my dental surgery is unlikely. Even then, I can't assume that Iggy doesn't like a bit of Michael Bublé in his life and for all I know he might be a huge fan, but it would've been fun to hear either way...
Of course I was far too polite to suggest that I’d rather listen to some ‘60s psych or the Sid Presley Experience or King Tubby or any number of other artists/genres that I realise could have come across as being wilfully obscure. Confrontational, even. I guess you could say I didn’t want to burst her bublé…
Anyway. I’m very glad we don’t all like or love or need the same things and it would just be fine if we could all stop being categorised as if we do. Or is that me being presumptuous too?
Not Michael Bublé. Instead, some great early '70s psych from Peru... !
We All Together: It's A Sin To Go Away