Thursday 25 June 2015

Bristol diary - part 5. Hell is round the corner

... So I'm standing outside the Arnolfini with three men, one of whom is holding a hand-made contraption up to my face, like a miniature slide viewer/binoculars thingamajig housed resourcefully in cardboard (!)  Kind of Blue Peter-goes-hi-tech... an old cornflakes packet perhaps... some sticky-back plastic.  I haven't a clue what's about to happen.

This is all new to me

The 'proposition' was to help test out a new app they're developing and be interviewed about it.  Why... what were you thinking it might be?!

 “Tell me what you think,” says the smiley tall chap with the floppy hair. He has a rather lovely voice too, now I can't see him, what with this whatchamacallit covering my eyes.  "Say what you see..."  I don't think this is going to be an episode of Catchphrase.

In fact I can't see anything. Nothing at first, just blackness. He and his bearded cohorts could be rifling through my handbag for all I know... or filming me anyway even though I declined... or drawing an ejaculating penis on my back in chalk... maybe all of the above... but I trust them! Then I see just this, a pair of doors, painted like so:



and the words 'The Garden Of Eden' above. I'm being taken towards it and the doors magically open outwards and let me in.  Oooohhhh!

This is what I see, but I see it opening out in front of me slowly in 3D...  all around me...



...and I'm riding on the back of a huge fish.

If I look down I can see the top of the fish's head. And as I turn my head... tilt it left, right, up, down again, I see creatures and trees and weird and wonderful things. Well, various elements of this section of Hieronymus Bosch's triptych (The Garden Of Earthly Delights). I'm asked to describe my experience as it happens... it's strange, spectacular, a little unnerving, travelling through a surreal parallel world, and I'm not in control, I'm on a ride, seeing an elephant on the left, a white giraffe on the right, birds flying all around... All the while with my feet firmly planted on Bristol harbourside on a sunny afternoon, near a couple sitting on a bench eating cheese and tomato sandwiches (that's if they're still there. I can't see them any more with this contraption over my eyes).

It finishes as I'm taken back through the black door.  Fortunately I don't have to continue my virtual journey through the final section of Bosch's triptych as pictured below; his vision of the underworld might have freaked me out a bit.


So it's ok, hell isn't round the corner.  My hotel room is!


12 comments:

  1. What???? What the hell happened? I'm confused and very intrigued. All that with your head in a box? This is what happens when you hang around outside The Arnolfini. I want one!

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    1. Sure it wasn't just the scrumpy talking?

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  2. SB, CC... honestly, my head was clear... at least it was until these guys filled it with their surrealist visions!
    It all felt quite mad - fun but mad - and certainly memorable. They want to develop it as an app for phones. All about helping people to really 'experience' art apparently.
    Scrumpy would probably be a cheaper option tho...

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  3. Wow ! I want one for my phone (actually I want one made out of cardboard like yours...), I'd love to ride a fish through the garden of earthly delights (which I seem to remember is also an XTC song I rather liked !).Strange things happen in the Mild West. What a fabulous idea and how prescient of them to spot someone like you to test it out, a match made in heaven (or possibly Eden?).

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    1. Indeed, it was all rather divine and very wow! You never know quite what may happen when you travel to a strange, new place do you... (but I hadn't envisaged riding a fish!)
      - Talking of the eponymous song, the one that springs to my mind too is the 60s psych track by The United States of America, I'm sure I have it on an old tape somewhere.

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  4. ......did they rifle through your handback or draw thngs on your back whilst you were experiencing what you so vividly describe????

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    1. Well, funny you should say that, george - I couldn't find my keys and I'm sure I got some odd looks and sniggers as I passed people on the way back.... Now all I need is to see the whole embarrassing footage on youtube.

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  5. Odd looking contraption but need to get myself one of these C, bit like a modern day 3D View-Master.

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    1. Yes it is isn't it? In a few years everyone will have one!

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  6. Far out man! I clearly hang about outside the wrong art galleries!
    The only thing I've ever been stopped in the street and asked to try were chips (of the french fried variety), served up on a series of cardboard plates by people with clipboards. It was only after I had diligently scoffed a selection that it was pointed out that it was my thoughts on the various vinegars they were after, not the chips themselves. I hadn't noticed any difference between them. Ah well, at least I didn't have to buy any lunch that day.

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    1. Haha, brilliant!
      Some free chips (with vinegar) would have gone down well too here, as long as they weren't just virtual...

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