Oh.
I've reached that age.
I opened the door to the delivery driver, he was very youthful but had the air of a 'young fogey' about him. I like that term - think I first heard it on 'The Big Breakfast', if you remember that Channel Four show from years ago, where there was a regular slot featuring guests whose ages and interests were somewhat at odds with each other. Like, say, a 17-year old who was into George Formby, or a pre-adolescent in a bow tie who collected old clocks. Anyway, Delivery Boy Man was bright-eyed and gangly but his thick-rimmed glasses, unruly ginger beard and benign face gave the impression of being a little on the nerdy ticket, and his smiley, respectful demeanour as I greeted him were most endearing.
Then in a chirpy, old-fashioned Cockney bus driver sort of manner he said, as he handed over my parcel (remember, he was only about twenty):
"Here you are, young lady!"
Young lady! Which, because I am clearly not a young lady and no amount of moisturising could ever give the impression that I am to one of such tender years, means only one thing: old lady. I have to confess, my heart sank a bit. I've reached the age when a person at least forty years my junior refers to me in this way precisely because he's thinking the opposite.* Isn't that weird? But you know it's true!
Mind you, reflecting on it later, I realised that it would have felt far, far worse, in fact I would be slowly dying inside, had he said, "Here you are, old lady!" I should just be grateful for small mercies.
Condolences. You’ve had a good innings.
ReplyDeleteJM
Well, thank you! It was nice while it lasted...
DeleteYou could definitely NEVER be mistaken for an old lady either in appearance or behaviour, not even by a juvenile delivery boy, so I doubt that was what he was thinking.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the thick glasses have a soft focus effect and make you look even more youthful than you do already (caveat applies). Or maybe he is just socially inept when talking to women. Or both.
That is extremely kind of you to say so, thanks Ernie. I shall hang onto your words for the next twenty or so years, I think!
DeleteInteresting, though, to reflect on the way we can get referred to through life. In rough order from start to finish:
girl/boy
young lady/young man
lady/man
old lady/old man
old girl/old boy
young lady/young man (especially once esconced in the care home...e.g. "well, don't you look smart, young man, in your lovely new slippers?")
I very much subscribe to the view, "You can call me whatever you like, as long as you don't call me late for dinner."
ReplyDeleteHaha, you're clearly a man who knows where his priorities lie!
DeleteI still get called 'young man' at work on a fairly regular basis, by customers several years my senior who I've helped in some small way. I'm happy to take it, as I know it won't last much longer! My colleagues are usually a lot more direct, getting my attention via any number of unrepeatable, but humorous descriptors, though invariably prefixed with 'old'!
ReplyDeleteThat's lovely (contrary to my response to the delivery lad, I'll take that 'young' moniker any time too when it's in that context!) But I cannot possibly imagine what unrepeatable other descriptors your colleagues would use; however, I'm sure they mean exactly the opposite!
DeleteIt's nice that he even spoke to you whatever he said - usually they just leave the parcel on the doorstep, photograph it and drive off. Young lady is quite sweet really and (as TS gets) it could have been a lot worse.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I meet up with old friends, as I did these last few days, we are "the girls". Ex-colleagues I have lunch with are "the girls" and even the ladies in the charity shop are now "the girls from work". It never changes for me however old I get. Long may it continue.
That's a very good point - he was very sweet and polite, nice to see, happy for him to come back any time. But he was SO young to be calling me that! (In age terms, I could probably just about be his grandmother... but I won't dwell on those particular thoughts...)
DeleteI'm with you on 'girls' too - whilst patronising in some contexts, and it IS all about context isn't it? - I'm happy to keep being a 'girl' for as long as possible. And, of course, we have our 'boys' too....not least the ones who visit these pages and yours!
I greet old mates as ‘Alright boi ‘ as some do to me. Please judge me. I feel I sometimes need reorientation.
ReplyDeleteNo judgement here young man, nor need for your reorientation! We are forever boys / girls / young to our mates and contemporaries, I'm sure. Hope so, anyway, I've never felt very grown up...
Delete(But imagine, say, a twenty year old female shop assistant calling you "young man". Why does that feel so different!)
George calls me youth even though I'm a couple of years older than him!
ReplyDeleteVery fitting for you both, I reckon!
DeleteNext time this happens, I suggest you respond as follows...
ReplyDeletehttps://youtu.be/C2hgAsi8Ae4?si=lHSw4AEDzgP7_F2r
Oh no, I'd forgotten all about that! Thanks.... Ok then - it'll the perfect set-up for making a comment about a lovely package. Argh!
Delete