Monday, 16 April 2018

Troubled mind


Ooh,  I had a troubled mind at the weekend. You know when everything feels a bit dark and well, yes,  troubling is definitely the word - because of things in your life which, at that moment, aren’t quite right.   They gang up in your mind and heckle you.  They don't let you rest. Some of them even slip slyly down to the pit of your stomach and bang on its walls.

The family problem, the letter from the council, the hot water playing up, the plumber not getting back to us about it, the work I couldn’t get right, then the blocked toilet, the bill for unblocking said toilet, more of the family problem (a constant backdrop to life at the moment), the worrying about someone thinking I might have done something I didn’t, the worrying about how to say something difficult to someone that makes a point I need to make (oh, the psychological knots we tie ourselves up in!), the work I still couldn’t get right, dammit – all niggling and nagging at the same time this weekend (funnily enough Monday morning wasn't so bad.)

But there was a saving grace!  I was reminded of a truly excellent song….


It's fucking great, isn't it?

20 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Haha, well thank you (blush)! Nicest thing anyone's said to me all day.

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  2. I hear you, C.

    Re the someone thinking you might have done something you didn’t, and how to say something difficult to someone that makes a point you need to make, would letting that person or persons read this post be an option? Prime them for what you need to say?

    Either way, hope the load lightens.

    And yes, great song.

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    Replies
    1. That's a good suggestion Martin, thanks, one to bear in mind in future perhaps (and where anonymity isn't an issue!)
      The first one's a very silly thing really but just got out of proportion in my head; I've decided to leave it be as it's probably all in my imagination anyway and the person concerned is not important in my life (a neighbour). The other is a conversation I need to have very soon so I will just face it head on.
      But must say it all felt lighter by Monday morning; it really is strange how different moods can change perspective on things quite significantly. But when all the niggles come together they seem to feel bigger and, of course, once you go down that route....!

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    2. Glad it felt/feels lighter.

      And after all, what's the point of late-night introspection if not to end up with a blog post? ;)

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    3. Thanks - and so true about the introspection. Great that you like the song choice too, by the way.

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  3. Oh dear - I get this feeling all the time, for pretty much the same reasons, so am totally with you here. Funnily enough you can have a really troubled day but then wake up the next day (if you've managed to get to get any sleep in the first place of course) and have a really good day. It can turn on a sixpence but always best to deal with any perceived misunderstandings rather than let them fester (says she who often isn't brave enough to do so!).

    As for the song, sounds like just the kind of thing that would actually clear a troubled mind, so good you thought of it.

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    1. Just realised I repeated the work "day" far too often there (argh...) but I think you get the gist.

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    2. I'm sorry to know you get that feeling all the time, but reassuring you recognise it too - I think it must be the downside to being very tuned in to one's feelings and responses. And sensitivity! I have to keep a tight rein on that!

      You're so right - perceived misunderstandings can quickly escalate if not dealt with and often just dealing with them straight away is the answer and you end up wondering why you were so worried in the first place! I need to work on that one... ;-)

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    3. Just to be clear, when I say "all the time" what I really mean is "quite often"! Usually a specific cause however and once it's dealt with, the troubled head goes away. As you say, you then wonder why you got so worried in the first place. 'Tis a bit of a curse to be a sensitive soul.

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    4. It's ok, I knew what you meant - it's a funny turn of phrase - I often say I do something "all the time" but don't mean that literally at all - now that WOULD be a nightmare!

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  4. Fucking hell C- you nailed something exactly in those 2 paragraphs. Spot on. It eats away.

    But Troubled Mind is such a great blast of Childish.

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    Replies
    1. We must all feel it from time to time I imagine... 'eats away' describes it so well.
      Yes, a great blast of Childish isn't it? - perfect.

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  5. I think there's something about being a woman of a certain age that exaggerates small things in almost the same way as we did in our teens blame ridiculous, rampaging hormones? Good luck with the "talk"

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    1. Undoubtedly a factor, CA! Yes, as if it isn't enough just dealing with simply getting older, we get all that crap thrown into the mix too. Nature is very unfair...
      Thanks for the good luck wishes. I'm sure it will be fine and already doesn't feel so ominous, it was just the accumulation of things on my mind that gave them all a malevolent edge I think!

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  6. Pretty good.

    And I hope things start to look up for you very soon.

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    1. Thanks Rol - no major life-changing problems or anything, so no worries on that front but just the way things can gang up on you sometimes and then even the smallest thing takes on new proportions. It was just one of *those* weekends - and an excuse to post the song!
      Had a nice young woman come and unblock our drains, too.

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  7. not to mention the imminent apocalypse

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    Replies
    1. Oh no, don't mention it....!

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  8. Great groove for strange times. It's been ever thus, though.

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