Saturday 11 August 2012

A nice pear?


I rather like the expression ‘pear shaped’.   It’s not in my tatty old dictionary, but then I’ve never completely trusted this particular tome because it excludes the word ‘feisty’.  (The measure of a good dictionary must be the inclusion of ‘feisty’ and it will be the first word I search for when buying a replacement – after the rude ones, of course.)  But I’m curious to know when ‘pear shaped’ came into common usage, at least as a way of saying that things have gone awry, rather than describing a particular body type where your jeans are a Size 18 and your blouse a Size 10.  (Actually, I think dress sizes should be done by shape as I’m sure it would make life a lot easier for top-heavy or bottom-heavy women, but I have a feeling that if you labelled even the loveliest party frock ‘pear shaped’ it wouldn’t sell too well…)

Anyway, at the moment it feels like my life is wearing a Size 22 skirt, complete with  muffin top spilling over the elasticated waistband, and a Size Zero skinny Tee.  Things have gone well and truly pear shaped this week.

Of course, it could be a lot worse but, as somebody once memorably announced, “There’s no sore arse like your own sore arse”.  And whilst I’m relieved to assure you that I haven’t got a red hot poker up mine at the moment, it’d still be fair to say that my arse is – metaphorically – a little sore.  Maybe it’s got so wide that even those Size 22  knickers are cutting in just a bit.

Work contracts and commissions I’d been promised haven’t transpired and I need to start out again.  It feels like I’ve spent the last ten years playing a game of Snakes and Ladders, with many rounds of ‘two steps forward, one step back’, but had gradually made progress and seen improvement, and then I went and landed on a snake and slipped right back down the board.  The recession, just like that vicious snake, is biting hard…

So it’s time to regroup, as common parlance has it and, for a start, we’re paring back our already frugal existence to cope with these changes -  in case you need them too I’ll pass on any tips we discover that might be useful!   Hopefully, in time, this pear shape will morph into a nice head of broccoli.  But, if nothing else, I'll be eating plenty of greens. (Tip 1: you can buy a whole broccoli for 11p if you shop at my local supermarket on a Friday night...)

9 comments:

  1. Thanks for the broccoli tip, C! Ultra cheap. As for 'pear shaped', 'tis a fine descriptive term. When I was in Bude, of all places, last week, I discovered that Christopher Columbus thought the world was 'pear shaped' - I never knew! I must add that I am no fan of the concept of 'regrouping'. Have you ever noticed how sports commentators often say that an individual sportsperson, when things go a little 'pear shaped', will have to regroup? How can one person do that? Flipping gibberish. Hope things get less pear shaped down your way.

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    1. Thanks SB. Yep, broccoli 11p - and lettuce 9p! That's the time to go!
      Yes, I see just what you mean about the word 'regroup' and its misuse. There must be a better term which could be used for individuals - perhaps it's time to make one up? I'll have to try and think of one with some fruit in it, to go nicely with 'pear shaped'...
      Hope you had a good hol!

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    2. Bear, nobody loves rural Mississippi more than me but, a trans-Atlantic trip to Bude?

      Did you go for the Grand Re-Opening of the Shell station? That was a pretty big inflatable Cokecola bottle they had there.

      :)

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  2. We've had a couple of patches in the last 15 years where we didn't know how we were gonna pay the bills. The worst one coming right after the Boy was born.I was really feeling like husband and father of the year...it was awesome. Ugh. We figured it out though...mainly cause we didn't have a choice. That's the great advantage of needing to eat. :)

    Y'all will get it handled.

    I genuinely admire you for working for yourself.

    Now go regroup yourself.

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    1. Thanks so much, e.f. and sorry to hear that you've had those times too, especially just after your Boy was born. It's tough, isn't it? Just trying to pick up more work where I can but have lost a lot of ground financially, that's the hard bit.
      Working for oneself can be absolutely brilliant, but only as long as it's going well...!

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    2. As hard as those times were C they're are ultimately helpful. You realize how good you are at scrambling and that financial problems aren't as bad as they seem in the immediate moment. It helps for the next go round...which hopefully never comes. :)

      Thankfully our financial situation is good right now but, just this weekend we made a huge mistake in selling our house. It's gonna cost us...painfully but, what are you gonna do?

      They can't make you pregnant...and they can't send you to Georgia anymore :).

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    3. Thank you - and yes I do know what you mean. Hope things work out ok for you re. your house sale too, these things are never easy.

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  3. Sorry to hear things are a little off-kilter over at SDS Acres. I hope the phone starts ringing with commissions ago-go real soon.

    (Thanks for the shopping tip...just in time for me to make my famous broccoli & lettuce surprise - and all for 20P, bargain!)

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    1. Thank you! 'Broccoli and Lettuce Surprise'? Mmmm!

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