The problem with Jonny was that, no matter how much he practised, he was never going to master playing the cello. And he practised a lot. We knew this because we heard every screech and every scratch of his bow scraping slowly against those strings - our family dining room backed onto the converted garage where Jonny tortured his instrument for hours at a time on a daily basis. I should add that he was only nine, two years younger than me, but he was as far from being a child prodigy in a string quartet as it was possible to be.
The neighbours' converted garage not only housed Jonny's cello but also a neglected upright piano. I was friends with Jonny's sister Lindsay and it would be fair to say that she and I also shared his misplaced musical aspirations. When 'Tubular Bells' had been around a little while and everyone was talking about it, we took it upon ourselves to compose a similar opus on said piano. I mean, how hard could it be? Neither of us had been taught to play any kind of keyboard but I knew my way around descant and tenor recorder, I had a pink and white plastic tambourine and, as for Lindsay's musical abilities... well, actually she didn't have any unfortunately, she was tone-deaf. But she did have the piano.
We tinkered around on that thing in the cold garage room in the Winter of '74/'75, surrounded by boxes of apples from the tree in their unkempt garden, various unidentified electrical appliances and a permanently rolled-up rug in the corner. The piano was, of course, untuned, but we put a couple of little themes together by remembering to press this key and that, the third black one along and those two white ones at the same time, etc. - convinced that at the end of it we would be as famous as Mike Oldfield - more so, in fact, because we were only 11 - and have a best-selling album in the charts. 'Cause it's that easy, isn't it.
Such is the naiveté of childhood - and how lovely it was really to have that. We messed around on inadequate musical instruments without inhibition and taught ourselves to remember our made-up sequences, motivated simply by the joy of doing it and our daft fantasy ideas. Isn't it a shame that at some point in life all that carefree attitude gets replaced with something more serious? Music lessons demanded progression and perfection, there might even be exams. Unrealistic personal expectations led to frustrations and frequent giving up. I've started to wonder if I could go back to that childhood approach and learn to play an instrument without all the adult stress that might accompany it - have some fun, not be too hard on myself, see what happens - especially as they say that learning to play one later in life can boost your brain's health, help with cognitive function, improve your creativity and memory too. It's just a shame perhaps (for the neighbours, anyway) that my ideal instrument of choice would be an accordion, and that I live in a terraced cottage with quite thin walls...
I keep thinking about it, though, because I just love the accordion - the way it sounds, the way it looks. I'm wondering: maybe start with a cute concertina at least; it takes up less room too. Does anyone reading this know how to play one? If you could play any instrument (that you perhaps don't already), what would it be?
Anyway, let me treat you now - here are three favourite songs with accordions:
Fairport Conventon: Si Tu Dois Partir
Go for it, C.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I can play the guitar - I'm no Johnny Marr but I play well enough not to embarrass myself. But if I could play any other instrument, no question, it would be the piano. How I would love to be one of those people who see a piano on a public concourse and can sit down at it and play something wonderful. I think my brain has calcified though; learning new and complex things at this age is hard! How was it ever so easy?
Can't believe you posted the accordion/concertina idea without linking to Squeeze Box by The Who. Except that squeeze box is only really a metaphor, isn't it ... ;)
Bonus points for Sheryl Crow covering Squeeze Box, whilst playing a squeeze box on TFI Friday.
DeleteWow, thanks for the link to Sheryl, it really suits her, I love the way she pushes her voice there too as well as playing that gorgeous instrument! I did think about the original Who song - it was a close-run thing.
DeletePerhaps you could learn to play the piano some time, Martin - it'd be a good thing to aim for - and never too late to try. My cousin is a piano teacher so if I could pass on any tips I would! But at least a guitar is a bit easier to make room for and carry around - imagine if you wanted to play the harp...
Or the bassoon...
DeleteNow you come to mention it, the bassoon is another instrument I'd quite like to play! It's just a bit 'different'. But it might have to double up as a hat stand or clothes rail in this tiny house.
DeleteDo it! I was in a sort of folk/skiffle group at university with a line-up concertina, guitar, tea chest bass and spoons. We were awful but it was great fun.
ReplyDeleteIs this a different band to A Cuddly Pair, Ernie? And if so, does recorded evidence exist? Do The Torvill and Dean still gets the odd spin around TT Towers.
DeleteDifferent and even worse. Fortunately no recordings exist.
DeleteWe were called The Inconsistent Egg. It was mainly an excuse to have a drink and a sing-song. Our ability to gig beyond our immediate environs was severely handicapped by the difficulty of getting the tea chest onto the small local buses.
Still, the Inconsistent Egg is a very good name. Peel would have played you on that basis alone.
DeleteI'm with Rol, Ernie - and I'd definitely have taped a Peel session by the Inconsistent Egg. I also love that you had spoons involved!
DeleteMy second comment appears to have been eaten by blogger (despite the fact that I was emailed a copy of it), so I'll repost it just in case...
ReplyDeleteC, this was a wonderful piece of writing as always. I think you should work on your memoirs (illustrated, of course). I would be first in line for a copy.
No idea how to play the accordion. I had piano lessons for many years but never mastered it (despite passing various exams which sucked the joy out of it). More fun was playing tenor horn in a brass band. Of course, what I really wanted was to play guitar... but that's not a proper Yorkshire instrument, so no chance there.
Oh thank you Rol, that means a lot. (I just found your original comment in Spam for some reason so thank you too for reposting.)
DeleteIf I go through all the posts I've ever written about childhood there's almost a book of memoirs there already. Perhaps something to work on for my own pleasure, though - I love reading everyone else's tales from their younger experiences too - just the stuff of life. Very touched by your encouragement and it made me realise that the advice one always hears to "write about what you know" is so true.
I think it's brilliant that you played in the brass band. Do you still toot your horn?
I found it in my mum's attic recently, where it has laid, unplayed, for the past 30 years. It was not in a good way.
DeleteWell I'm glad it still exists, although a shame about the condition. I wonder if it could be restored, should you want to breathe (blow?) some life back into it.
DeleteSign me up for the memoirs
ReplyDeleteAnother order for the memoirs here!
ReplyDeleteErnie, Martin - well, thank you! You must be gluttons for punishment...
ReplyDeleteGo for it! I love the concertina - I've got loads of brilliant names, songs, albums I could point you in the direction of.
ReplyDeleteBut just a quick starter for 10 - Ivor Cutler's 'Life in a Scotch Sitting Room'. Am I right, or am I right?!
Oh thanks John. I so often talk about things but never get round to doing them, but now I'm thinking: a Christmas present to myself? They're quite pricey but sometimes you just have to go a bit mad, don't you?! Life is short, etc.
DeleteAnd I love Ivor Cutler! Yes, LIASSR! Can't remember now if we may have talked about this before any time but have you seen the lovely Sky Arts tribute programme to him with KT Tunstall? We also have the LIASSR books with their wonderful illustrations by Martin Honeysett.
Did someone say Accordions?
ReplyDeletehttps://charitychicmusic.blogspot.com/2013/04/accordion-crimes.html
Thanks CC - more to add to the repertoire!
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