Thursday, 3 July 2014

The Dentists

I must have been grinding my teeth or something but last night I had a dental dream.  For some reason I can't work out, the actor Eddie Marsan was the one doing the drilling.  Not a  benign, smiley Eddie Marsan but a very sinister, cold (and still smiley - which is even more sinister) one.  If you saw him play the sociopath hitman 'Sunshine' in the comedy drama 'Grass' by Andrew Collins and Simon Day a few years back - that was who he was.  A fucking hitman dentist!
"Open wide"

He shoved metal implements down my throat which nearly choked me and I also remember that he took advantage of my submissive position on the horizontal chair for an inappropriate grope of my wobbly bits.  I expect you're glad I used the word 'inappropriate' there...

Then he buggered off as it was 5.30pm apparently, and told me that his assistant would carry on.  I looked across the room to see who that lucky person might be and it was the bloke from up the road who fixed our gutters last year.  "Is he a qualified dentist, then?" I asked, somewhat appalled - although it probably came out as, "Ith e a ollyied ehhitht theh?" to which the reply from sinister, cold, smiley Sunshine was, "No but dentists don't need to be qualified these days, anyone can do it".  And then, thank god, I woke up. Dribbling.

But the dream suddenly reminded me of the band The Dentists, whom I once saw live back in the '80s and who, incidentally, had a song called 'I Had An Excellent Dream'...



11 comments:

  1. A nightmare about a visit to the dentist - sounds like my worst, erm, nightmare. I'd forgotten The Dentists, a good little band in their day weren't they? 'Strawberries are Growing in My Garden (And It's Wintertime)' was a fantastic single too.

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    1. They were rather good, weren't they? They didn't seem to get as much coverage as those other 'Medway' bands at the time but hearing this (and Strawberries) again I think they should have!

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  2. When I dream about my dentist she's wearing a bishops hat and the assistant has wings...they're sprinkling fairy dust on me...Wowee Zowee is always the soundtrack.

    I was there this week....high as Cooter Brown on nitrous...Anthrax by Gang of Four was the highlight.

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    1. Erik. Sod the commute, I wanna go to your dentist.

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    2. Me too. Your dentist sounds like a dream in every sense.

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  3. I have a recurring dream where my teeth fall out.
    Great song by The Dentists, btw. Only ever a name to me.

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    1. Ooh, not a nice dream to have recurring! But I think dreaming about teeth generally is quite normal - I still occasionally have dreams about wearing braces (I had a top and bottom one at same time in my early teens) - I'm sure we must be clenching our jaws or grinding them in our sleep or something.

      Glad you like the song! Much overlooked band but with that memorable album title 'Some People Are On The Pitch They Think It's All Over It Is Now'...

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  4. Never heard the dentists before! Eddie whatsit is really creepy, poor bloke, whatever part he plays... I can see why he would feature in your nightmares.

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    1. It's those eyes.... killer's eyes....
      Poor bloke - but I heard him in a radio interview once and he sounded really lovely!

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  5. I was at a party in the seventies and Eddie was there, he was starting of in acting....he did not 'pull' at the party!

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    1. Oh that's interesting - he's a great actor isn't he, but he does seem to get a lot of sinister characters to play.
      Glad to hear he wasn't a dentist when you met him at the party!

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