"Open wide"
He shoved metal implements down my throat which nearly choked me and I also remember that he took advantage of my submissive position on the horizontal chair for an inappropriate grope of my wobbly bits. I expect you're glad I used the word 'inappropriate' there...
Then he buggered off as it was 5.30pm apparently, and told me that his assistant would carry on. I looked across the room to see who that lucky person might be and it was the bloke from up the road who fixed our gutters last year. "Is he a qualified dentist, then?" I asked, somewhat appalled - although it probably came out as, "Ith e a ollyied ehhitht theh?" to which the reply from sinister, cold, smiley Sunshine was, "No but dentists don't need to be qualified these days, anyone can do it". And then, thank god, I woke up. Dribbling.
But the dream suddenly reminded me of the band The Dentists, whom I once saw live back in the '80s and who, incidentally, had a song called 'I Had An Excellent Dream'...
A nightmare about a visit to the dentist - sounds like my worst, erm, nightmare. I'd forgotten The Dentists, a good little band in their day weren't they? 'Strawberries are Growing in My Garden (And It's Wintertime)' was a fantastic single too.
ReplyDeleteThey were rather good, weren't they? They didn't seem to get as much coverage as those other 'Medway' bands at the time but hearing this (and Strawberries) again I think they should have!
DeleteWhen I dream about my dentist she's wearing a bishops hat and the assistant has wings...they're sprinkling fairy dust on me...Wowee Zowee is always the soundtrack.
ReplyDeleteI was there this week....high as Cooter Brown on nitrous...Anthrax by Gang of Four was the highlight.
Erik. Sod the commute, I wanna go to your dentist.
DeleteMe too. Your dentist sounds like a dream in every sense.
DeleteI have a recurring dream where my teeth fall out.
ReplyDeleteGreat song by The Dentists, btw. Only ever a name to me.
Ooh, not a nice dream to have recurring! But I think dreaming about teeth generally is quite normal - I still occasionally have dreams about wearing braces (I had a top and bottom one at same time in my early teens) - I'm sure we must be clenching our jaws or grinding them in our sleep or something.
DeleteGlad you like the song! Much overlooked band but with that memorable album title 'Some People Are On The Pitch They Think It's All Over It Is Now'...
It's those eyes.... killer's eyes....
ReplyDeletePoor bloke - but I heard him in a radio interview once and he sounded really lovely!
I was at a party in the seventies and Eddie was there, he was starting of in acting....he did not 'pull' at the party!
ReplyDeleteOh that's interesting - he's a great actor isn't he, but he does seem to get a lot of sinister characters to play.
DeleteGlad to hear he wasn't a dentist when you met him at the party!