Tuesday 6 May 2014

Neither a borrower nor a lender be

You think: I won't ask for it back just yet, they won't forget, they'll return it to me when they're ready.

Then the days turn into weeks turn into months and maybe you forget about it yourself, it's not top of your list of things to do, you haven't really missed it anyway. It flitted into your mind for a moment when you were having a sort through some old bits and pieces: oh I wonder if they've forgotten... but then.... nah, how could they?

And then maybe the months turn into, well, more months, perhaps even years... and it's just too embarrassing to bring up something you really should have mentioned long ago. Too embarrassing. For whom? For you? Or for the friend to whom you lent that... whatever it was you lent them. In my case, various friends, whose lives have taken them on journeys far more shambolic than my own, so much so that I really would feel like an insensitive idiot now asking if they could return that tatty old paperback I lent them five years ago. So I let it go. Think of it as a gift, maybe; it's only 'stuff'.

Some of the stuff I (and in some cases, we) have let go of include two little shaped wooden badges depicting Yellow Submarine style images of Paul McCartney and George Harrison (bought during a hilarious 'Beatles' weekend in Liverpool), a 1980s drum machine (hours of fun!), a packet of gig photos from a night at The Pink Toothbrush, a bootleg video of 'A Clockwork Orange' from the days when it was still banned, and a Be Good Tanyas CD. But then, does the fact that I even remember them mean I haven't really let go after all?!




12 comments:

  1. Those things can really play on the mind can't they? One of our neighbours 'borrowed' a rake from us about two years ago and another neighbour seems to have 'forgotten' about the extension lead I passed over the wall a few years back. Bastards.

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  2. Oh dear, perhaps you'll have to ask each neigbour if you could 'borrow' their rake and their extension lead some time...?
    The thoughts of these lent objects came to mind last night when I was reminiscing about the drum machine after a particularly convoluted train of thought. It was a great little gadget, but if we had it now it would probably be stuffed under the bed and gathering dust anyway.
    After writing this post, though, I did start to worry in case I have a load of forgotten borrowed things in my possession too whose owners have been thinking the same about me.... hmmm...

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  3. I know what you mean here...Martha borrowed a jumper from me 3 or 4 years ago and it's still hanging in her closet. It's a nice one...a blue Lacoste...very soft.

    It makes for some very awkward moments in the fall but...

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    Replies
    1. But don't tell me you haven't 'borrowed' some of Martha's clothes from time to time, eh... :-)

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    2. Of course! Just a shame that the shoes don't fit.

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  4. I've lent so many records and CDs out over the years that I've just kind of written them off or in some cases re-purchased them. I'm guilty too though. At the end of the 1990s a friend took a year out to go travelling and asked me to look after a half a dozen of his expensive CD box sets while he was away. Long story short - I still have them. On his return he moved around a bit and asked me to keep them a while longer until he was settled. This went on and on. I even put them in the car when I met up with him in London once, but he was about to move yet again and so they came back home with me! We eventually lost touch 8 or 9 years ago, so the box sets sit downstairs in a cardboard box waiting for the day our paths cross again. Although its all music I love (Chess, Motown, Stax etc), I've never had them out on display, it wouldn't feel right as they don't belong to me.

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    Replies
    1. Perhaps when you've been lent something there should be a kind of rule, along the lines of 'you get three chances to claim it back and after that I keep it' - in which case it sounds like you've definitely earned ownership over those CD box sets! Nobody could say you didn't TRY to return them, after all - I suspect, especially given your friend's seemingly nomadic lifestyle, they are very much out of sight, out of mind. Perhaps you'll have to give them a spin some day, it would seem a shame that they are not being appreciated!

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    2. Oh I've always listened to 'em. I'd just feel a bit weird if he suddenly turned up at my front door out of the blue to find his beloved box sets in pride of place on my shelves. Not an issue currently however as a) I myself have moved twice since we were last in contact, so he has no idea where I live and b) all the CDs in the house (not just his) are stored in cardboard boxes at the moment, awaiting a decision upon their fate!
      He clearly has as little interest in social media as me, because after my initial comment on your post I was moved to Google his (fairly unusual) name. He apparently has no Facebook or Twitter profile, but I did discover a 2010 online interview with him, regarding a sporting event in which he was involved, where he mentioned that he was married and settled in London.

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    3. I don't expect he's reading this blog, then...!

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  5. Always remember Flycasual was asked for some money when he was still in school by a 'good' friend in the States. He did not have much but sent what he had totally, against my wishes. 'You will never get it back'....he never did! Money comes and goes, yellow submarine badges don't.

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    Replies
    1. Wise words, Old Pa!
      I do rather miss those little badges too, and don't know what became of them, they were probably thrown away :-(

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