Tuesday, 5 November 2013

I am not human

There isn't that much in life that really irks me - a few odd little things such as washing up saucepans, women with high squeaky voices (step forward Sharon Osbourne / Yoko Ono) and trying to get the last bit of margarine out of the tub. Just lately I've added something else to the list: this disturbing trend for the anthropomorphism of inanimate objects in labelling.

I feel patronised. I'm not a child, you don't need to use baby talk when you speak to me, and likewise I don't need my Savoy Cabbage to personally instruct me how to try it or explain how to keep it (or ought that to be him/her?) in the fridge.



I'm sure the postman feels the same about this package...



It's the use of "I" and "me" that's really bugging me.  It was fine in the fantasy context of  'Alice In Wonderland', and 'Eat Me' dates have been using it as a quirky little brand name for decades. However I fear this tendency to use the first person when it's not a person at all is getting more widespread; it's just another part of the whole dumbing down process, isn't it?

I mean, tell us what to do with things and where they fit by all means, but please don't pretend you're a speaking cabbage or a literate box. Next you'll be stamping little smiley faces on grapes and god knows what directions you'll put on the loo paper rolls.

Some bright spark will then start attaching helpful voice recordings to products like our morning cereal. “I'm lovely with milk poured over me, just don't let me get soggy!” we'll be told by Sharon Osbourne, disguised as a cornflake, in her most irritating falsetto. If that ever happens I may just have to reach for the Domestos to wantonly ignore Yoko's “Don't drink me!” plea.


16 comments:

  1. C, I'm with you all the way. It's all part of the move to a permanent state of childhood that it being designed for us all. It's, frankly, creepy and disgusting. I can well see that Sharon Osbourne as cornflake thing just around the bend.

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    1. Thanks, SB, glad it's not just me. "Around the bend" could very well be the case...

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  2. Replies
    1. :-)
      And I'm most definitely allergic to that.

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  3. I don't get the whole "serving suggestion" thing anyway. It is a cabbage - do what you do with a cabbage... just keep it to yourself.

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    1. But... what does one do with a cabbage?!

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  4. 6 pack of beer 'drink me' the next 4 'drink me' the last one 'you've had enough'

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    1. :-) I'm sure it could happen!

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  5. Boy George was interviewed on the radio a few days ago and when asked to what he attributed his current healthy physique, he said that he eats plenty, but 'nothing with an advert or packaging' - fresh produce only. Good call George. Not only clearly better for you, but also prevents you from being informed that the contents of a hot pie 'might be hot' and that a packet of peanuts 'may contain traces of nuts'. George is on to something there.

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    1. Interesting... and I saw BG on Later t'other night and he was indeed looking very bright and bushy-tailed!
      We'll just have to hope that nobody tries to genetically modify carrots one day with the words 'Don't forget to wash me' running through their core like a stick of rock...

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  6. Replies
    1. Indeed! And I'm staying in my rabbit hole.

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  7. The Thought Of Pouring Milk Over Sharon Osbourne Appeals.......

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    1. Hi and thanks for commenting... I wonder if Ozzy would agree?

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  8. That's is the most grating thing I've ever seen...somehow I've missed it over here. They don't put smoke me on packs of Camel filters. Thank God.

    You should know C....that over on MH, both me and the sister have now expressed our desire to have you as a sibling rather than the one we're stuck with. Ha

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    1. At least you'll be on your guard now, this horrible trend is bound to make it over the Atlantic soon...

      Aww thanks for the sibling honour! I'll check in to MH in a minute (d'you know I've only just finished working, this is the first time I've even looked at my blog today!)

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