Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Dear Vlad

Sometimes spam emails just make me smile:

Hello 
My name is Vladimir Kupriyanchuk
I developed an interest in you.
If you have the opportunity then please send me information materials and souvenirs (stickers, pen, t-shirt, notepad, poster or other.)
I would be very grateful.

This charming fellow contacted me the other day and I was terribly tempted to send him a little goody bag in the post.  He sent me his address and everything!  I could give him one of my pencils with a personally chewed end, several notebooks with my very own handwriting in and there's an unwashed T-shirt in the laundry basket that he might like.

It was so much nicer to read his message than some of the others, though, particularly as I'm not actually 'seeking sluts to fuck' at the moment.  (But apparently there are plenty in my local town and all you have to do is 'click here to enter'.  Good to know.)


7 comments:

  1. Blimey! Never received spam like that. Kind of glad and slightly envious at the same time! Not that I want to hear from this fellow - does he have sister? On second thoughts...never mind! Watch out for the weirdos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, I confess I felt a little frisson of... of... well, of something or other... when I read it! I was just about to parcel up some treats for him when I decided to google the message and discovered that I am just one recipient amongst many hundreds it would seem... Was I disappointed? Disappointed on the one hand, but relieved on the other. I could still write to him to ask about his sister for you, though.

      Delete
  2. Wow, i think I have only ever had a small handfull of Spam emails and they were never rude or porny! Do you not have a Spam blocker set up? It all sounds a bit scary.
    Poor Vlad sounds like he thinks you are a business empress who has her own line of merchandise to send to him... I have this image of a crazy old dude in a flea bitten cardigan who cuts coupons and enters every competition on the back of cornflakes boxes... he is probably harmless.... mainly because he has walled himself in with hoarded souvenirs, biro's he has snipped off the ball chains in the Post Office, and those free leaflets to dodgy tourist attractions you find in the library. He probably has about 35 cats in there with him (I am beginning to warm to this guy!)... please send him some biscuits, and a few sachets of whiskers. ;o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have him pictured perfectly now, thanks to you! He probably enters the Ukrainian version of X Factor every year too, and walks around town in his raincoat in the height of Summer, carrying one of those old fashioned shopping bags which never has anything in it...

      I creased up at your change of heart, aww! :-)

      Note to self: remember to buy catfood, Hobnobs and large jiffy bag
      tomorrow.

      Delete
  3. Excellent, we should start a Feed Vlad campaign ;o)

    ReplyDelete
  4. This morning's spam; Online bingo, golfing equipment, car loans, payday loans, insurance companies of dubious origin, about ten PPI reclamation services, 3 or 4 credit card invitations and offers of relief, both debt and hand. No word from Vlad yet, or his sister.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah - well, I think everyone could do with some fan mail now and then, so I'll put a word in for you with Vlad.

      Note to self: Remember to include all blog pals' details in the 'Feed Vlad Campaign' food parcel....

      Delete

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