Friday, 30 August 2013

Fantasy Dads

I generally avoid highly topical subjects on here because they’re already getting overkill coverage elsewhere, but a revelation in the news this week has caused me to totally rethink something.  I’m going to have to amend my ‘Fantasy Dads’ list.

I must make it clear that there isn’t anything awful about my real dad; he’s a good-hearted man and really rather quaint, it’s just that he lives on another planet.  To be honest, I’ve come to think over recent years that he actually has a mild degree of Asperger’s Syndrome (he's that 'mathematical genius who couldn't boil an egg' type) so it’s not his fault that he forgets my birthday and moved house without passing on his ‘phone number.  I’ve even had reason to question if he really is my biological father – but that’s another story for another time.  Maybe.

Anyway, without wishing to do him too much of a disservice, his lack of involvement in my life left a void and it had to be filled.... with fantasy dads.  Dads who’d inspire, offer words of wisdom, be creative, make me laugh and perhaps lend me £10k now and then.  And I was quite happy with my list of perceived paternal greatness, which has remained unchanged for some years. Here’s how it goes, in no particular order:

Michael Palin
David Attenborough
Billy Connolly
Tony Hart

and then there was….

...a certain Australian entertainer, artist and animal lover. 


Oh shit.




Ron Wood: old enough to be my dad ;-)

15 comments:

  1. Oooo, Fantasy Dads, that's a great idea. My own died when I was a baby and my Step Dad was, errrrr, well, I would have been quite pleased if he had moved and not left his hone number as he wasn't the jolliest of people.

    Palin and Connelly seem more like naughty uncles to me. Big no to Tony Hart and Rolf, but for different reasons... so we could share lovely old David Attenborough, and I would also like Tom Good (from the good life, don't say he was fictional, I have my fingers in my ears, la la la laaaaa) and Peter Cushing (Ok maybe a granddad... and errrr, dead I guess) and Trevor MacDonald :o)

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    1. Funnily enough, Yve, I did consider Richard Briers too, but yes he'd have to be in his Tom Good role. Still, as this is all total fantasy, why not?!
      Indeed, Peter Cushing would make a great vampire-defeating granddad, and a rather more perverse part of me would quite like Christopher Lee.
      Trevor MacDonald - such a sweetie, yes he'd be fine! And maybe Bamber Gascoigne?
      Meanwhile, I'm very happy to share David Attenborough with you :-)

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    2. PS - oh how about Oliver Postgate (RIP)?

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  2. OK, I meant PHONE number ;o)

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  3. Whoa...I've already been told last week, without malice, as a matter of fact, by my son that he loves his Momma more than anybody. Yeah...me included.Ha!

    This thought of a fantasy dad list is too much to contemplate.

    From what I can tell, unless your a detective, it might be a good policy to just drop anybody associated with the BBC from any and all lists.

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    1. Even Johnny Morris? If it ever came out that JM had 'done a Rolf' I would have to throw myself into the nearest lion's cage.

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    2. e.f - Ahh, that boy of yours, he knows how to play the game already!
      Don't you even think about the fantasy dad list though, you're already a wonderful real one :-)
      There are an increasing number of old BBC programmes that are never going to be aired again now, soon there will be nothing left. These guys were on everything...!

      John - ah, thanks for mentioning Johnny Morris - he made my FD shortlist! I loved him dearly but he sometimes got on my nerves, mind you that might have made him even more credible. Perhaps I'll add him now to replace Rolf. But I'll be joining you in the big cat compound if anything ever comes out about him....



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  4. Ooooo Nooooo, not Johnny Morris! He was so cuddly... to be honest, we can't know if all of these accusations are true but the majority of the people who have been investigated always had a bit of a creepy edge to me even as a child, even Rolf. JM though, no way!

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    1. Yep, let's hope there was no other side to JM. I'd be devastated!
      I know what you mean about creepy - JS and DLT always made me feel uneasy - but RH didn't, so it came as a bit of a shock (whether true or not...)

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  5. Bumped into Rolf once in Australia, he wasn't as nice as his image that's for sure, so less surprised than perhaps I would have been otherwise. I'll put in a vote for Richard Briers even when he wasn't Tom Good (cant think of Felicity Kendall as fantasy mother, that would spoil some adolescent dreams....). I'd quite like Iggy or Bowie as fantasy dads to be honest, except for the golf, I hate golf....

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    1. Richard Tom Good Briers is coming out of this well! I love the idea of your rock'n'roll dads but I couldn't have Bowie for the same reasons as you couldn't Felicity Kendall! And I think with Iggy as dad I'd have ended up like a Saffy to his Edina, if you see what I mean...
      Perhaps the lovely George Harrison? Or did he play golf?!

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  6. On the subject of your Aussie friend....if you ask me 99% of groups, artist etc from 60 and 70's probably should be arrested too...I am sure there are a few out there with a 'Squeaky'
    Fantasy mum - Anna Kournikova

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    1. Oh no, please don't call him my "Aussie friend"!!!!
      I think that's a good point, though, Old Pa - and there are many tales of 60s/70s groups'/artists' more controversial behaviour with under-age girls (and boys too I'm sure) which, conversely, have become glamourised over the years... It's a strange world.

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  7. Replies
    1. D'oh, talk about overlooking the obvious!! Of course, The Swede,,,, of course!

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