Mystery lovechild: the results

Thanks so much to all who joined in with the latest instalment of this absurd and trivial challenge.  I've realised that it's a bit like cooking a complicated meal; takes ages to prepare, finesse and serve up, and then it's all gone in a fraction of the time.  Just the washing up to do now...  and some indigestion tablets to gulp down.

Anyway, we started off with an amiable-looking character; I've got so used to looking at this new bespectacled face now that the actual origins somehow no longer look real to me.  'Helen', as Alyson has playfully named her (absolutely!), is essentially Bonnie Raitt, with just Buddy Holly's eyes and nose, but what a difference they make.  Both were correctly and quickly identified by Martin.

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Next up, what do you get when you combine Kurt Cobain and Celine Dion? ( The top half of Kurt's face and hair, with the lower half of Celine's. ) You get a young man called 'Kyle', according to Alyson.  Martin correctly identified the Nirvana vocalist, and a warm welcome goes to Douglas McLaren who correctly spotted Celine - many thanks for joining in.  

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No. 3 proved tricky.  No, not that Tricky.  It's Stormzy, or at least the lower half of his face, combined with Nona Hendryx looking suitably exotic, even more so with Stormzy's beard.  Another warm welcome and many thanks also to the soul of a collector for dropping by and correctly identifiying Michael Ebenazer Kwadjo Omair Owuo Jr straight away.  Alyson was so close with her Patti Labelle suggestion, but with a little nudge in the same direction realised it's acutally Patti's fellow Labelle member Nona instead.

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Who's responsible for this living doll?  Rigid Digit was straight off the starting blocks to identify Cliff Richard, but wasn't 100% sure if Lulu might be the other half.  Martin also thought it could be Lulu.  You were both right.  Congratulations!

("... looks like an Angela to me," says Martin too.  I have to agree.)

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Jon Bon Jovi and Patti Smith give love a bad name with this mystery lovechild...  Well done to Martin.

But Martin had earlier wondered if Bruce Springsteen's genes were in the mix.  I can see why.

*However I must reiterate that all lovechildren featured here must be genetically possible, i.e. with male/female parents.  Even if some of them would have had to have  their eggs or sperm frozen.  But, you know, I have to keep this realistic...

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Ah, look what happens when you give Britney Spears an Ed Sheeran haircut!  As Alyson says, you get a kindly face who looks like a Frances.  And it's actually Britney's complete face, but seems that hair makes all the difference so, although Martin was quick to identify Ed, an extra clue was needed to spot this particular 'Princess of Pop'.  Maybe it would have been easier if they'd both shaved their heads...

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Damon Albarn and Joan Jett combine to make one badass mean girl. (I reckon she's called Donna...)  Rigid Digit and Martin both wondered if real-life associates of Damon had something to do with this but I can confirm that neither Phil Daniels* nor Justine Frischmann were anywhere to be seen at the time of conception.

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I don't know what happened down in Devil Gate Drive to result in this, but here she is.  Rigid Digit was quick to identify both Suzi Quatro and Robin Gibb.

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I didn't think it would take too long to recognise this Stray Cat's enormous quiff and indeed Martin pinpointed Brian Setzer straight away.  But the lower half of this lovechild's face took far longer to identify as belonging to Miley Cyrus, in spite of valiant attempts from both Martin and Alyson.

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And finally, although Martin was quick to recognise Janet Jackson here, Chuck Berry (the owner of those eyes, mouth and pencil moustache) also took a little more time to get right.  

And that's the lot.

Everyone who played along got a least one answer right, with Martin bagging the most and Rigid Digit a clear second place.  And it turns out Rol knew more than he let on, as confided he'd been to school with most of them...

But no points and no prizes - just another five minutes of your time wasted, I'm afraid!  Thanks to everyone for such astute detective work.

The return of The Mystery Lovechild...

I reckon it's time for something ridiculous. pointless and a complete waste of time; even more so than usual, I mean.  Another instalment of The Mystery Lovechild!

If you've been around for past 'mystery lovechild' posts you may remember the premise:

What might the secret offspring, born to a famous but unlikely set of musical parents, look like?

Previously, for instance, it turned out that the oddly familiar-looking character below was the (alleged) result of an (alleged) furtive fumble between Rod Stewart and Stevie Nicks.   Apparently it all started when he asked her if she thought he was sexy.  That night was the night, but it seems it wasn't big love after all and she told him to go his own way - and that must be why he doesn't want to talk about it.

But every picture tells a story...

So here are some more, frankly very peculiar-looking offspring whose parents need identifying.  I'd love to know who you think could be responsible for such reckless and terrifying distribution of their genes.

No rush, no prizes, but I hope they make you smile rather than throw up.

Answers next Monday!

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Mystery lovechild 3: the results

I know, I know!  I put out a quiz and then take over a week to post the answers, terrible.  My excuse is that I've been distracted and frazzled by a work project which has had me labouring on through to late evening all week followed by some sleepless nights worrying about it.  This morning I finally decided it just wasn't worth it and have made the choice to pull out before it gets too far down the line to be salvaged.  The first time I've ever had to do that and to walk away from the biggest fee I've ever been offered, so it feels pretty bad, but I know I just can't risk making myself ill over illustrating a children's book...  Decision made and (a very carefully worded) email sent, now it's like a weight's been lifted and I can get back to more important things for a while... like the Mystery Lovechild results!

So - without further ado...

Firstly, thanks so much to all who had a go at these.  It's a complicated business trying to add up points (well it is for me), let alone giving an individual breakdown, so I'll see what I can work out later, but in the meantime here's the evidence of the guilty parties responsible for our freaky hybrids.

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Kate Bush and Barry Manilow produced someone who is "strangely alluring" (to quote Rol, who guessed correctly).  Surprisingly she turned out less Hammer Horror and more Mandy.  It was just Barry's eyes, brows and nose here.

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Yes, it's Beyoncé and Kanye West.  Eagle-eyed Yve warns me that "their other 'alves will not be 'appy" so we won't linger too long, but Kanye's distinctive nose and jaw make all the difference to Beyoncé here.  Well, she did sing 'If I Were A Boy'...

 

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The name Dolly Dylan has such a ring to it; I just wish she didn't look quite so much like someone I used to work with.  Indeed, it's Dolly Parton's eyes and hair, with the bottom half of Bob Dylan's face.  No matter how much he might protest with his "It Ain't Me Babe" line, it clearly is...

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I was quite shocked at how easily these two blended.  The eyebrows are pretty much interchangeable, their noses and mouths and placement of features very similar. It's only Paul McCartney's eyes and nose (and his right eyebrow) but I think they're still pretty recognisable on Sinead O'Connor's head, as did Yve and Chris. 

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Recognising the 'big-nosed bard from Barking' here proved quite tricky (it's only his mouth, big nose and chin) but Alyson correctly identified Billy Bragg with a little hint!  Alison Moyet is more obvious - well, that hair of course...

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Ian Brown meets Miki Berenyi and the result is a single girl who may wanna be adored.   Definitely one for Swiss Adam who quickly spotted Ian, and I think Miki was on the tip of his tongue...

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Possibly the result of too much dancing in the dark, this bearded beauty is the progeny of Bruce Springsteen and Cher.  As you all knew.  Bet she wishes she could turn back time.

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So it seems Rod Stewart's genes were easy to spot (but he doesn't want to talk about it). Less obvious was Stevie Nicks, who only contributed her eyes, nose and fringe.

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This year's model is the result of endless love between Mariah Carey and Elvis Costello...

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Perhaps the last one was hardest of all.   A blend of Art Garfunkel (hair, mouth, face shape) with Dusty Springfield (eyes, brows, fringe and nose). Yve correctly spotted them after some clues, but I can see where Chris was coming from with his suggestion of Taylor Swift.  

And that's the lot.  The clear winner was Yve, with a massive 17 points out of a possible 20, and then she was kind enough to create some wonderful mystery love children of her own (if you see what I mean) so that I could play along too, which was great fun for me.  Do go and have a look!  As we are both artists we have concluded that there is definitely something about the way we view people that helps us. But beware if you ever find yourself travelling on the same train as either of us, you may notice us drawing you with our eyes (not just staring in a scary, stalkery way, honest...)

Big thanks to Chris, Rol, Alyson and Swiss Adam for their answers too - lots of correct suggestions there and every mystery solved, pretty quickly too.  Far more quickly than I could get around to posting this, that's for sure.