I’m so sorry that I haven’t been very present on the blogs lately. 2023 hasn’t started out as well as I had hoped as I’ve not been quite right for a little while; I appear to have a flock of sparrows cheeping away inside my head. (This should surely inspire a surreal piece of artwork some day, I can picture it now…) They’ve been there for at least a couple of weeks – cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep, incessantly throughout all my conscious hours, and waking me up particularly loudly at dawn, but at least they cheep very neatly in time with my heartbeat. Normally I love the sound of sparrows, but this – nah.
Anyway, it’s under investigation now and hopefully all will
be resolved soon. I’m carrying on as
normal but it’s just making life a bit more tiring and I have to work quite
hard not to get down and anxious about it too. It’s always the way, isn’t it, when you worry
of course it just risks making things worse - I should probably switch to a
life of hedonism and start drinking and taking drugs but, well, the expense… Anyway, anything that distracts from and drowns
out this pulsing sound is fantastic; I recommend standing by the washing machine on spin
cycle but, of course, music is the best thing.
So I couldn’t help thinking of a favourite track from
one of the first albums I purchased with my pocket money. I
was going to put some words together about it now but then I remembered that some years
ago I’d mentioned it in another post and what I wrote then still just sums it up for me:
The outer sleeve of the fourth (or was it fifth?) album I ever bought was the thickest and stiffest I'd seen. The card was really sort of heavy, and had a wider than normal spine. There was a particular texture to it that made it feel different too; perhaps because of its matt silver finish.
I bought it some time in 1978, can't recall exactly when, but
I remember playing it a lot and for some reason I have a specific memory of
putting it on just before heading out to a party. I was kneeling in front of
our ancient portable electric heater, a cumbersome thing, which fizzed and
popped and clicked in a rather ominous way while emitting an intense heat the
smell of burnt dust, but it was the best way to dry my hair. I simply knelt in
front of it with my head bent forward so that my hair hung upside down and then
when I looked up again, it had dried at right angles to my scalp. A light
application of egg-white then set it into spikes. I was doing all this
while listening to the two-minute genius of Love Battery and I Don't Mind, etc.
I loved every track on that silver-sleeved album, but Moving Away From The Pulsebeat was probably the biggest surprise to me on first
hearing and seemed like a grand finale.
Hope to be in more normal mode soon!
Sorry to hear about the ornithological tinnitus, C, that must be unpleasant. Hope it gets sorted very soon. There's a novel by Stephen King in which the protagonist, an unsuccessful high-brow author, has an alter-ego whose trashy crime novels pay the rent. Our hero has a phrase for when his alter-ego takes over: "The sparrows are flying again." I won't offer up any spoilers, should you want to read it sometime (though it's far from his best work). Anyway... digression aside, I hope the sparrows stop flying for you soon.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great track choice, by the way.
Thanks Martin, yes I hope the sparrows will fly away soon and leave my head in peace! Thankfully doctor/hospital are on it and are looking at things quite quickly. I just hate not feeling myself!
DeleteSorry to hear about the sparrows.It seems there is a Harmony in your Head but not a pleasant one.
ReplyDeleteHope it gets sorted soon
Ah CC, I should've thought of that one! Thank you too.
DeleteSorry to read this C. As a long time tinnitus sufferer, I can sympathise with how such internal noises can intrude on day to day life. I hope the cause of your particular internal noise is quickly resolved and that the sparrows migrate soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you TS and oh, so horrible for you having long time tinnitus, and no wonder music is as important as it is. If only we could just rewind and erase the noises in our heads!
DeleteSorry to hear the sparrows are bothering you, hopefully that will be sorted soon. At the risk of appearing flippant, are they of the sun dried variety? Maybe they have migrated to you because they think its home.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ernie, ooh yes you could be onto something, I think those sun dried sparrows have come home to roost in my head. Just hope they don't build a nest, it'll be sprouting out of my ears...
DeleteSorry to hear you're not currently match fit and hope you're soon back in harness.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I saw the Buzzers they were playing at Retford Porterhouse; it was the week AMIADK came out so I'd been playing the album continually back to back getting to know the songs. They were on blistering form that night. We were down the front and I remember sustaining a pogoing related injury but I didn't care! They finished their set with Pulsebeat. Oh, and the Slits supported them.
Thanks John, hope so too, to be honest it's a fucker.
DeleteOh that gig sounds superb and with the Slits too. I think pogoing related injuries were par for the course, ah - those carefree days!
Sorry to hear about the sparrows, C, though possibly preferable to A Flock Of Seagulls in your head? Seriously, hope you get some relief (& a decent sleep) soon.
ReplyDeleteI loved the archive reminisce about getting ready for a night out, listening to Buzzcocks. And egg white for spiking up your hair! I shudder at the amount of hair spray and gel I used at a similar age in the 1980s. Nowadays, I’m grateful to still have a head of hair, but it tends to stick out a random angles all by itself!
Thank you Khayem - oh god yes, imagine if they were seagulls, now that would be crazy. I love the sound of gulls but only in their normal habitat!
DeleteHair spray and gel - I knew them well! Great to know that you did all that too (did you have big goth/post-punk hair?) Egg white was at least more natural but I dread to think how many eggs I got through, must've upped my mum's weekly grocery bill a fair bit...
Sorry to read this C, I sympathise. Tinnitus/ noises are no fun. Hope you get some relief soon. Brilliant Buzzcocks song though.
ReplyDeleteThanks SA, indeed no fun and so hard to relax properly. Hope also that your tinnitus has eased.
DeleteHi C.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry to hear about the bird life. When the hearing goes a bit 'long wave' it can make one really despondent. I suffered temporary deafness when my extosis (surfers ear) got to a critical stage. I remember the feeling of dislocation.
Looking on the brighter side at least you do not have jackdaws.Look after yourself.
Ben
Ah thanks Ben, that surfer's ear sounds nasty - I hope you're free of it now and all back to normal.
DeleteYou're right about the sound of jackdaws, much as I adore their call I wouldn't want it in my head all the time. My sparrows appear to have morphed into cicadas lately - quite the menagerie! Hoping upcoming hospital appointment will shed some light.
Jacdaws are too messy to have in your head. Have you seen what they throw down chimneys?
ReplyDeleteI hope the wild life is sorted out by the hospital. Surfers ear is something that you have for life. The bone surrounding the ear canals is stimulated by the cooling effect of wind and water.If I stayed on dry land there would be no further problems....so no chance.
Oh, the price you pay for the things you love doing! Hope it's not too troublesome for you generally, though.
DeleteIncredible what the body does to 'protect' itself. I guess surfing with earmuffs on is not really an option!