Saturday 21 January 2017

Reading matter


Books and toilets.  Do they go together?

I’m kind of thinking they do, judging by the amount of books I get to half-read while other parts of my body do different things.  If it’s not too much information, it’s through having a healthy digestive system that lately I’ve managed to cover whole chunks of the Morrissey Autobiography,  Bill Bryson’s ‘Little Dribbling’ and ‘Going To Sea In A Sieve’ by Danny Baker.  All out of sequence, though – ends before beginnings, forewords halfway through and simultaneous middle chapters – I’ll never be able to enter Mastermind with any of the above as a chosen specialist subject because I’d get all muddled up.  Fortunately Mastermind isn’t on my bucket list but I still fantasise about specialist subjects – don’t we all?  Anyway, like a disjointed dream, somewhere in the back of my mind Bill Bryson and Morrissey have morphed into one and are travelling around Britain writing a fanzine.  

Our books tend to migrate to the bathroom (where our only toilet is) in almost ghostly ways. I’m not sure quite how they end up there, on the windowsill, on the little wobbly stool or tucked in among the towels – some books that I hardly remember even owning in the first place.  I thought we’d got rid of the Doctor Who hardback ages ago; I’d forgotten all about Kraals and Mechonoids - now I’m up to speed.   

So visiting our loo is like visiting a library with random shuffle.  One week The Doctor, next week The Haynes Manual for the Fender Stratocaster.  That one didn’t hold my interest so much but for a while Mr SDS could regularly leave the smallest room with some new nugget of info about the floating tremolo or whatever.   I’m afraid I could only give a Gallic shrug in response, still, at least he was happy.

Anyway, I wonder how widespread the books and toilet combo is.  I grew up in a house full of books, although they weren’t upstairs in the bathroom where the pink suite was grounded by deep purple carpet tiles - deep purple! carpet tiles! - and we had goldfish to entertain us instead.   (The goldfish must’ve found us entertaining too - what a view they had from their thigh-level tank at the end of the bath.)  However, the downstairs loo (or 'cloakroom' as it was politely called)  - little more than a cupboard really - provided plenty of light reading including this:



and this:


and sometimes my Mum's John Noble mail order catalogue.  



That was a little too heavy and floppy to handle easily, especially when otherwise occupied, but my Mum’s logic could be questionable at the best of times.  (She once cast a replica of my Dad’s head in bronze,  actual size and complete with his short-lived beard, and displayed it on the sideboard.  All I can say is thank god it wasn't in the loo).

Not my Dad's head

When clearing out my Aunt and Uncle’s house last year I was happy just to browse the spines of the old paperbacks on their own designated shelf in the loo – poetry books, classics, Penguins – the tiny room had become a place of learning and escape, a tranquil retreat, even if the seating choice was limited. It was nice to think of them being avid loo-readers, and she a retired GP too.  Which leads me to wondering if there is ever a question of hygiene?  According to the Director of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, there is what you might call a ‘theoretical’  risk but it’s not very big -  just don’t forget to wash your hands.  And so I've concluded: yes, it’s okay to read books in the loo. 

 But probably not okay to take a dump in the library.

16 comments:

  1. I've had this very discussion more than once after using the facilities a friend's houses and finding a bijou libraryette waiting within as I locked the door behind me. As a general rule of thumb, I've found that the biggest bookshelves in smallest rooms have been in houses of families with kids. 'It's the only chance I get to read' is the weary response I usually get following my inevitable enquiry.
    From a purely personal point of view, I tend not to go into the loo until I need to and leave immediately following the conclusion of the whole nasty business. It's bitterly cold in there which doesn't help. It's the last room I'd want to spend any unnecessary time in. Reading is for a comfy chair, or bed - somewhere comfortable - and warm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's interesting about families with kids, might explain the books in ours when I grew up? I think too that my Mum quite liked it to be a talking point, any visitors to the house using our loo could then engage in conversation about the witty graffiti they've just read about (Whereas a friend of mine's parents actually HAD graffiti on their loo walls - all guests were invited to add to it, now that WAS a talking point!)
      I completely understand about the comfort and warmth! I used to like reading in bed but get a cricked neck now - Mr SDS used to as well and then would often fall asleep and drop his book on me. It's only since we had our bathroom updated that it's become viable (and warmer at last), now I actually enjoy spending time in there, perhaps it's still a bit of a novelty. The problem being though that I start casually reading a page here and there halfway through with the intention of reading it properly, in the correct order, later on and somewhere else - and then never do because I've read most of it randomly already....

      Delete
  2. Johnny Vaughan on Radio X is currently doing a mini series on reading matter found on the smallest room in the house: Loo Reads. Clap it in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds interesting, I've never heard of Radio X! Will have to check this out. Relieved (well, of course!) to know there's enough other loo-readers out there to warrant a series...

      Delete
  3. In a holiday cottage there was a book of Burns poems in the loo
    From short ones to epics like Tam O'Shanter ensured that all bases were covered

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Proof too that the loo can be a place of great cultural importance!

      Delete
  4. Just spotted this as got my computer back - Yeah. Bad news is an awful lot has been lost and it will take an inordinate amount of time to set it all up again so totally lost my mojo for blogging at the moment (sad face).

    Liked this post however so glad to see others still have their mojo. Love having reading material in the loo and we used to have a little table with National Geographic mags on it - Visitors disappeared for ages as if they found something of interest they kept on reading! Did worry a bit about the hygiene side and the mags did get a bit wrinkly with steam but a fine way to pass some time (whilst passing other things)! Have heard that it can lead to lazy body functions when certain parts are "open" for longer than they rightly should be but maybe a case of "too much information" now.

    Hope to return to form soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no, so sorry to hear about the amount of stuff that's been lost on your computer, how galling. I hope you can get it all set up without too much more stress; I also hope very much that your mojo won't be missing for too long - I think we've all been there for one reason or another (I've certainly lost, but then rediscovered, my mojo several times) so understand.

      As for the loo reading I love the idea of the table with National Geographics - I would definitely disappear for ages and get lost in the reading material without realising the time! Friends of ours also kept some of the trashier end of women's mags in theirs and I always found myself unable to resist looking through the far-fetched stories, tasteless fashion tips and ridiculous gossipy shite (no pun intended) -not the sort of thing I'd ever usually read so almost felt a bit furtive and grubby....!

      Reading your next post, however, will be something to look forward to - whenever you want to and when technology allows.

      Delete
    2. Yes, like you those mags always make me feel a bit grubby but I have been known to have a quick browse in the supermarket if a headline grabs me - Naughty me. (And by the way I thought shite was a Scottish term but good on you for using it!)

      Sadly we seem to have lost all 15 years of hubby's business files/pics/invoices/contacts/email etc in one fell swoop and although in a cloud "somewhere" not easy to find and restore - Going to be a long-drawn out job and safe to say I am devastated. Was loving writing my blog but this has really thrown me and will have to prioritise business stuff for a wee while. Will look out for everyone else's posts in the meantime.

      Delete
    3. That's awful about the amount of stuff you've lost - really hope you can relocate it in cloud storage and wishing you lots of luck with restoring everything. We'll still be here when you have more time to post yourself - I really do hope you will, I always look forward to your latest! And in the meantime hope everyone else's blogs will help keep you upbeat, always lovely to see you in the comments!

      Delete
  5. Reading in the loo is a strange pastime and I don't think I've ever read a blog post about it before :) To me, a tv guide is ideal reading material for the toilet, because it's so undemanding and quick to skim over. Like The Swede said, my bathroom is generally cold so I doubt I'd stay for longer than necessary. I can definitely see how it can be a tranquil retreat though under the right circumstances.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd been thinking about it, how I've ended up reading books I want to read but how they'd got disjointed - and the reason why! Then wondered if it might seem odd to write about, but at the same time hoped it might resonate with a few people too....
      The TV guide is a good idea - you're right, something to skim over. Also probably the reason my mum kept the light-hearted paperbacks mentioned above as they could be quickly flicked through.

      Delete
  6. Couple of things 1) Loo Reads is genius - wish I'd thought of that and 2) Once in a bed and breakfast just outside Worcester - the only book in the toilet there was 'Timmy Mallets Utterly Bonkers Book'. It had a sticker on it saying - "Use in Emergency Only".
    Much Love
    SWC

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice to see you SWC - ha, I love that about the Timmy Mallet book. To be honest, I'm not even sure I could use it in an emergency, I think it would chafe....

      Delete
  7. I have to say I always like to read on the loo. It used to be Old Ma's mags or anything elese like jokes or short stories. I hope you have given my book a place of honour in that hallowed room. Nowadays I dont go to the loo unless I have my phone. Sad but true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your book is too special to keep in there, Old Pa! A friend of mine was the same about her phone, that was until she dropped it down the loo one day :-(

      Delete

Please come in, the door is open

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...