Saturday 3 December 2016

Twitch

The other day Mr SDS remarks that he’s experienced a funny sensation in bed the night before.  (Stop it…)   It was troubling him.  He describes it: “like a tickly feeling that started by my arm and then all of a sudden I felt it down my leg”.

“Probably just a nerve or something.  Or you know when you get an itch and it sort of spreads?” I suggest.

“Yeah, but it was just odd because it was, like, really fast.  Weird.”

Anyway, that was that.   I check the bed for spiders (possibly squashed) before getting in next night –  but thankfully no trace. 

A few evenings later I go into the kitchen to get a glass of water, when suddenly something small and dark scoots across the floor in front of me, over my foot and disappears under the washing machine.  Not a spider.  It has a tail.  And thus we discover that we have a mouse in the house. 

The following evening we’re assuming (hoping) the mouse has gone back out by whatever route it came in. We live in the country with all sorts of creatures frequenting the garden, so no big deal.  We haven’t heard or seen it since the night before and we’ve been careful not to leave any food/crumbs about.   I can’t see any tiny droppings on the floor and I’m well-versed in small mammal excreta (it could be my specialist subject on Mastermind, I can identify hedgehog poo at twenty paces). All seems quiet.

I’ll cut to the chase, literally - we are wrong about the mouse going back out.  Suddenly, god knows how, it's upstairs in Mr SDS’ little office room, it runs under his desk, disappears.  Ten minutes later, there’s a mouse in the kitchen… well, a tail hanging down behind an upper cupboard.  Its owner then makes a break for it across the worktop and down behind the fridge (but not before squatting briefly on the bread bin with a defiant stare).  Then back under the washing machine….  disappears.   Five minutes later there’s a mouse running around my workspace, here in the living room, where I'm typing this.  We try to catch it under a plastic bowl but it goes behind the bookcase and… disappears.

Oh no!  We don't just have a mouse in the house, I surmise - we have mice in the hice!

Well, I’m fond of all things small and wild with multiple legs and that includes mice, so I’m not standing on a chair shrieking or anything like that.  I do remember a long while ago, I was working in a huge office full of mostly men, many of whom were hairy-arsed seafarers (I can’t vouch for the hairy bits but I base the judgement on their beards), they’d  been employed as engineers, officers and Captains on massive international oil tankers, travelling the world for months on end, encountering pirates and tropical storms, weevils in their biscuits and all sorts.  One afternoon someone noticed a baby field mouse running across the large open-plan office floor.   All those rufty-tufty middle-aged mariners around and yet it was the new recruit, a 28-year old female admin assistant, who calmly knelt down and caught the panicky rodent in her hands.  (I simply cupped them around it gently and took it outside...)

So I’m fond of all things small and wild - hairy-arsed, even - but I’m concerned about how to deal with several mice running around our tiny home with all its quirky corners; I have visions of an infestation.  

I’ll cut past the chase now…the chasing bit was futile.  We bought a humane trap for £3.99 and left a piece of my favourite Tesco 74% cocoa dark chocolate inside as bait (the sacrifices I make!)  About twenty minutes after laying it, it had caught a mouse.  She was dead cute – as in cute, but not dead (I couldn’t do dead).  All pink nose and twitchy whiskers - I could happily have kept her as a pet, but we took her out for a ride in the car and released her by torchlight a few miles away in a hedge – I'm sure she’ll be fine, she’s a country mouse.

What about all the other mice?  Well, it's been a few days now and it seems there are no other mice, just one extremely clever one (except when it comes to resisting chocolate) who managed to move unseen from room to room, upstairs and downstairs, via her incredible stealth, or possibly the power of invisibility.  

At this point it also dawns on us about the mysterious sensation under the duvet....



21 comments:

  1. 1. Get a cat.
    2. Long may you have mysterious sensations under the duvet. Oh, matron!

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    1. 1. Cats make me sneeze, dammit!
      2. All mysterious sensations are welcome.

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  2. We had a slight mouse problem when we first moved in, but thankfully never since. It's the rats in the garden we have to worry about these days. Not that I'm particularly worried about them being in the garden - it's if one of the blighters ever makes it across the threshold that the trouble will start. At this time of the year they come in off the marsh to find some semblance of warmth and cover. An elderly neighbour puts poison down and takes pot shots at them with his air rifle - I gently try to point out the futility of his actions, especially as most evenings he scrapes his dinner plate off in his garden 'for the birds'! He's totally astonished to see rats running around and can't seem to make the connection at all. Anyway, I digress - sorry about the rant! A fabulous read as always C, I hope your house guest was a lone traveller.
    Tonight in session, Small Mammal Excreta.

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    1. As too are the Middle-Aged Mariners, who will be debuting their new single 'Rufty-Tufty'.

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    2. I've heard worse band names than Small Mammal Excreta and the Middle-Aged Mariners that's for sure...

      TS - thanks, and I completely sympathise/empathise re. rats in the garden, having had them here for many years - only recently with the presence of more cats in the neighbourhood have they stopped coming in. Like you we just learned to tolerate them (I loved watching themm anyway) - and I always read Chris Packham's views on things like this if I need some reassurance and to feel I'm not alone on the subject! I always hope that being brown country rats, they're less likely to want to come in the house than black city rats. Shame about your neighbour's inability to make the food connection though... what can you do, except to gently point things out as you say.
      And yes, so far, it seems our little mouse was a loner, nothing has been seen, heard (or felt!) since.

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  3. There's a moose loose about about the hoose!

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    1. :-) A moose would at least be easier to catch...

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  4. I love Mighty Mouse as much as any sane person but I think that this post demands something by Eek-a-mouse, Mouse and the (humane)Traps, Modest Mouse or DangerMouse....

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    1. Lovely to see you here Bel Mondo! I know, I was very remiss in not including a musical (mousical?) connection. I'd been thinking of Deadmau5 but went off the idea, would have preferred it if he was called Livemau5...

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  5. Hi C,
    I thoroughly enjoyed this story of your "wonder" mouse. (Hope he doesn't tell all of his buddies about the fun he had keeping you and Mr. SDS on the run.)

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    1. Thanks Marie. Keeping fingers crossed. And bedroom door tightly shut!

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  6. You can't blame the mice for being hungry. Nice of you to take the mouse for a ride and release it. Just this weekend my parents needed to put a trap down. I know it's a little late, but for future reference the air vents on the outside of a house can be secured with wire netting. I also blocked off two kitchen cupboards with cellotape, I knew they came in and out there because of droppings. If you can figure out how they are getting in, then you've won half the battle!

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    1. Yes this little one was clearly very hungry, must have been in the house for a few days, poor thing. We are still baffled as to quite where/how it got in but need to block up any holes we find - have noted about the wire netting, thanks.

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  7. What an entertaining story C, although wondered where it was going when you started off with: funny sensations in the bedroom. "Mice in the Hice" makes you sound terribly posh though! Good luck with tracking them all down

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    1. Thanks Alyson! Of course I am very posh and not only do I live in a hice but I like brussel sprites ;-)
      I think we're ok - just the one mouse - but I'm on the alert now for signs of more with a ready supply of chocolate...

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  8. We had mice a couple of yeras back and like you got these 'humane traps' after a few catches. I aways took them to a nice location to release them.
    That brings me to our holiday in Thailand this year sitting on the loo sudenly a spider ran out it must have be 5 inches long leg to leg. I nearly fell of my seat.

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    1. "...nearly fell off my seat"... Oh no!!! That made me laugh out loud, but I'm not sure I would if it had been me (much as I love spiders, a lot depends on where they are)
      Always knew you were an animal-lover, though, Old Pa - those mice were lucky.

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  9. John is right. Get a cat. We had one almost my entire childhood and we never had a mouse. Within a month of the cat's death we got our first one. Those mice are smart little critters.

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    1. I know you're both right - and I do love cats. I'd just have to choose between mice and sneezing all day, though - mice win by a margin!

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  10. If I ever get reincarnated as a mouse, I know which house to go live in now. Chocolate in the humane traps? She'll be telling all her mouse pals...

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    1. You'd be very welcom Rol. Hope you like chocolate...

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