Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Head

It really did sound as if he was having sex in our bathroom.

Keith The Carpet Fitter was in there on his knees with a bucket of latex. There was a lot of grunting and some shockingly loud sighs and groans. I felt quite embarrassed at his oral exertions; I had to keep stopping my mind going to places that I knew it really didn't want to go to, a bit like when you see Robin Trower make his facial contortions... you know what I'm saying.  There was a final, triumphant “Yesss!” as he crawled backwards out of the bathroom, then one more deep grunt as he stood up, before beckoning me to show off his handiwork which was (well of course) the levelling screed he'd just laid on the concrete floor.  I was quite relieved.

Mind you, when it comes to making involuntary noises, it could just as easily have been me using one of these.


Have you ever tried one?  Oh god, I recommend it.  It's best when someone else uses it on you, but still pretty damned amazing if you do it to yourself. Your skin will tingle in ways you didn't know were possible, your eyes glaze over in ecstasy and you may well find yourself begging for more more more you filthy whore. You may also make a noise like Keith and pull a face like Robin so it's probably best not to whip it out of your handbag or manbag and have a quickie with it in Tescos.  Although... if everybody did that it would certainly make shopping for spaghetti hoops a very different experience.  Who'd have thought your head could be so erogenous?

This is pretty sexy too

18 comments:

  1. Laying latex screed can certainly be a big beautiful ride. That other thing looks like it needs tracking down.

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    1. Mmm, the smell of rubber ;-)

      I'd thoroughly recommend tracking one down, SB. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'headfuck'...

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  2. Had a couple of friends who swore by the head orgasmatron thingy... never tried it myself - they once gave a demo in a crowded pub which was one of those everything-stops-for-an-embarrassing-silence moments

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    1. Haha, I can imagine a pub full of bemused onlookers... not really a spectator sport. Give it a try, though!

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  3. I am ashamed to say I have tried one of those orgasmatrons and nothing happened, not so much as a tingle! I used to get a tingle from Julian Cope back in the day though… mad as a bag full of squirrels but cute ;o)

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    1. Oh shame - maybe it's not everyone's cuppa tea then, I don't suppose Julian is either but I have to agree, quite a cutie in the '80s!

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  4. Does this only work for people who liked to be tickled?

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    1. There could be a correlation between foot-tickling and head-massaging I suppose - it would certainly explain my penchant for both. It's more than just a tickle though, oh so much more...!

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  5. It reminds me when I shared a flat with stewards and stewardesses...one week end i was alone and was wakened by what I thought was a cat wailing in discomfort and pain....I realised it came from the next room....I thought the poor thing must have got in the window and was trapped....imajine my horror and shock when i opened the door...there was Richard and his new boyfriend.

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    1. Oops... that sounds embarrassing... I take it they weren't just using a head massager?

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  6. P.S.I am of to listen to some RT have not done so for years

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  7. I also like the one with Jack Bruce doing the singing.I must do a post about that story in more detail.

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    1. I'll look out for that post, Old Pa.

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  8. I used to love having my hair washed before having it cut (this was back when I had long luscious locks of course!) and I would wax lyrical about the relaxing effects of the gentle scalp massage to everyone I knew. One guy I worked with was utterly revolted by the mere thought of it, as he hated having his head touched in any way and thought I was a bit weird for enjoying the sensation so much. He'd only ever allowed one hairdresser to cut his hair all his life, even though by that stage it involved a 40 mile round trip to get it done, as he knew that he could trust her not to touch his scalp unduly. This was many years ago and the hairdresser must surely have retired by now - I wonder how he copes.
    I've never tried one of those massager things, they do sound good though.

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    1. I love this, TS! Just shows how different we can all be. I really look forward to hair appointments for the extra attention too, but it must be pretty difficult if you don't. If you like that though, I think you'd definitely like the head massager...

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  9. Reading this, I was kind of hoping the carpet installer, when finished, stepped outside and languidly enjoyed a cigarette...as he stared off into the distance at nothing in particular...with a small, but satisfied, smile on his face.

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    1. Ah. that would have been the perfect ending....

      As it was he came back a week later to lay down the vinyl and made the same noises all over again - but this time with his son's help - best not go there...

      (Hello to you JohnJayJay, and thanks very much for dropping by and commenting!)

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