Tuesday 15 April 2014

Caught by the fuzz

Had any interesting experiences with the police lately?

It's been a while since I have – the last time I spoke to them was when we woke up one Sunday morning a couple of years ago to find the back gate and shed door mysteriously open. Nothing had been nicked; the shed was in such a state at the time that the cobwebs made it impenetrable, and even the most intrepid of burglars would have found their courage and perseverance rewarded with no more than a rusty spade and a half-empty tin of Sadolin. But we told the police anyway just in case there was a spate of it in the area. They sent round a couple of bobbies - I have to call them 'bobbies' in this instance because they were old-fashioned and smiley with local accents, the type who ride bicycles slowly and wave at old people – these were not cops or pigs or old bill. They kindly suggested we could hang a little bell on the gate to deter any potential intruders. It kind of sums up where we live now.

That's not to say I haven't been on the receiving end of crime before; in another life and town my flat, my car and my handbag have all been broken into and I actually couldn't fault the responses of the police in each instance. But was that because I'd been the 'victim'?

I mean, it felt very different when I was in the transit van that was stopped by some cops on one occasion (of several) coming back from a gig in the early '80s. I was with Mr SDS' band, along with the other girlfriends and the mate who did the driving, when we were pulled over by a police car as we drove through a spookily quiet London in the early hours. We were young, scruffy, punky types. They were young, bolshy, smart-arse types. It was clear that they were desperate to catch us out on something and drugs would be the most likely haul, so we were interrogated, patronised, physically searched and separated and it felt shit, and actually quite scary.  When they eventually couldn't find anything they didn't apologise - they did give us a sticker for the van, though. It said, 'Mets Are Magic'. Pah.  There was only one place we wanted to stick it....

It seems so long ago now.... and so does this. What actually started me on this train of thought about the police was watching Britpop At The BBC on Friday night and seeing this clip. I just can't get enough of it. Isn't it the most compelling performance of an absolutely perfect song?


And then I thought about how many great songs there are about the police. Like this one from an old Pink Fairy....


...and this one which I saw performed live so many times in my youth


And then there's the Equals, Junior Murvin/Clash, Crisis etc etc.... there's always something to say about the police.  Where would we be without them, eh?

11 comments:

  1. I was at a Lou Reed Concert in early seventies did not manage to have my usual skinful as I finished work late....after concert found my mini had an attemted break in, the door handle was broken off....cop car was just passing and stopped and with a trusty coat hanger they managed to get into the car...they were charming and helpful...I was sober and greatful.

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    1. That's very cool, Old Pa! I wonder if they still carry trusty coat hangers in their patrol cars?! Not long after I got my first car I had to ask for help when I locked myself out of it in a car park right near the police station. A young copper begrudgingly came out with his skeleton keys and sorted it. I had to flutter my eyelashes at him I must admit, and just act dumb blonde (hmm!)

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  2. I was pulled over in London once too. All my passengers separated and questioned individually, much like your situation. I was driving a friend's car, which I did from time to time in the 1990s and was fully insured. They said I looked too scruffy to be driving such a smart car and thought I might have nicked it!
    Great tunes one and all.

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    1. Appreciate your empathy! Sounds like the sus law! What kind of car was it that was deemed too smart for you?! That sort of stereotyped judgement seems to be the Met mentality more than elsewhere in the country (here they'd probably just ask for a ride...)

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  3. First, bloody ace tunes. Love them.
    Scrapes with the law? When I was a teenager I was somehow very blessed because I never got caught for all the malarky I got up to, whereas ALL my mates ended up in juvenile court. Jammy bugger! Adult life has been, thankfully, a more law abiding affair and I've kept out of the police's way and they've, so far, kept out of mine.
    Had to call them a few times, however. Cars have been nicked twice and never returned; hooligans causing havoc in the park at the back of our house and, on one infamous occasion, when Mrs. Bear swore we'd had intruders when she, very creepily, found a knife on our bed! We were sure we'd never seen it before and it made no sense at all. A little freaked out, we phoned the boys in blue. Later, a very embarrassed Mrs. B. had to inform them that she recalled getting a picnic hamper down off her wardrobe and the knife had obviously fallen out! Oops...just as Mr. Plod was about to do a detailed search around the house.

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    1. Just want to add that Mrs. B's mam was mugged (I know...f*****g hell!) recently the police were really helpful. Never found the gits, though.

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    2. Glad you liked the tunes, SB. That's a classic (and hilarious) tale re. the knife on the bed... whooops...! The time that our flat was broken into, the buggers nicked some money (we'd been saving up some cash to buy a new stereo so it was more than we'd normally have at home, typical) and, get this, a packet of chocolate biscuits! Nothing else!
      Sorry to hear about Mrs B's mum, that's awful. Cowards. Hope she's ok.

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  4. They really gave you a sticker?!

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    1. Indeed they did, a sticker for the windscreen, with a little illustration of three smiling, multi-racial constables on it.

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  5. I'm doing a bit of catching up on SDS today and enjoyed this post the most of all the ones I've read this morning. It's nice to know that the old stereotype constable on a bike is alive and well and not a stereotype but in fact a reality.

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    1. Hi Wilthomer, nice to see you and thanks!
      Yes we do have some classic old-fashioned coppers round here, the kind who actually smile when you pass them in the street! Sometimes feels like I must be living in a time-warp!

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