Friday, 5 April 2013

Barenaked lady

Why on earth - oh god, why on earth! - did I decide to go to work that day in a huge, busy office... with no clothes on?

It had seemed a normal enough idea at the time, to just not bother to wear anything.  Next thing you know, I’m there at my desk, surrounded by hundreds of co-workers of both sexes, all of whom are fully and respectably dressed.  And there’s me: completely, utterly nude.  Not a stitch on.  There’s nothing I can do about it, because I can’t get home, so I’m stuck here all day like this and I’m really starting to think it’s a bad idea.   Nobody’s called the police, or a psychiatrist, or my next-of-kin…. so it’s obviously not that weird in the scheme of things, but still I feel ashamed and uncomfortable and just wish I hadn’t decided to do it.  Wish I could turn the clock back.  People are looking at me rather disapprovingly and the awful sinking feeling in my stomach is increasing with every passing minute.

I am so relieved when I wake up – although, just for a second, as I blink in the light of the new morning,  I start to wonder if I have actually done it.  The sense of regret and of shame and of being the only one who has, for some unknown reason, decided to go totally starkers amongst all her clothed colleagues, certainly feels real enough - even if (thankfully) only fleetingly.

 It had to be, didn't it?  Those early (naughty!) Ants...

15 comments:

  1. It reminds me when Billy Connely said he would walk I think round Trafalger Square or somwhere else up in London, completely starkers for Red nose week...no way will he do it I thought...then the Big Yin went and did it in all his glory.

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    1. Haha, yes I remember that - didn't he do something similar at the North Pole too?!
      Of course it's great to go, and be, naked, but it's so funny how mortifying my dreams are just because I'm the only one who is. That's the key thing I think... Ooh, deep ;-)

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  2. I used to regularly have dreams of being naked in public. The analysis (from dodgy internet research!) is that it is related to a fear of exposure in some way.

    I haven't had one like that is ages, so whatever I feared is afeared no more.

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    1. Glad to know you don't have them any more!
      The theory makes sense - hmmm, I wonder...!

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  3. That's so odd, I've heard other people say they dream of public nakedness too. I wonder what underlies it? I've never dreamt that myself, in fact I have never actually been in any of my dreams or at least not as myself! Maybe with your dream it was your subconscious reminding you that underneath it all you are an individual in a sea of conforming office workers?

    I once was briefly and unintentionally naked in public for real and it was neither toe-curlingly embarrassing OR freeing... I just hit my head in the shower, fainted, woke up dazed and opened the bathroom door and walked down a crowded college dorm corridor before fainting again... absolutely starkers! I had conclusion and forgot my name but somehow remembered that walk of "shame", except I just felt kind of distanced and "so what?" about it. So not me, I am so body conscious and shy normally.

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  4. That should be concussion! Tee hee

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    1. Oh, my sympathy to you for that experience, given the circumstances I imagine the nakedness was of a lot less significance than your safety, do hope you recovered quickly from the fainting and concussion... (I like 'conclusion' too!)

      I think there may be some truth in the theory mentioned by Furtheron, or maybe it's just something more general about a sense of vulnerability in any given situation. My more common recurring themes are about being on scary heights or in claustrophobic depths and I always have them when I feel stressed, it's quite easy to read into those!

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    2. I dream I can fly A LOT, most of the time in fact... except I am not me, not human, just this little ball of energy, I go all over the place. I quite enjoy the experience. I don't think I ever dream of real life situations, at least I don't remember those dreams if I do. I dread to think what that says about me!

      It's pretty cool to know that our minds get up to all sorts of stuff while we are asleep ;o)

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    3. Your dreams sound great!
      Yeah, I think it's amazing what our minds get up to while we don't even know it...

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  5. I've never had a 'naked in public' dream either, but I do have a recurring 'can't find a loo' one! I go through doors, down corridors, into rooms, out of rooms and on for miles and miles before finding myself in a shop window or similar public place with a blocked up loo and everyone looking at me!! What does it all mean? Have I shared too much information?

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    1. Worry not, The Swede! It's quite comforting to know! I have toilet dreams too. Oh dear, toilet dreams AND naked in public dreams, what IS going on?
      Your 'can't find a loo' one sounds horrible but I totally relate! My version of it is having to use a really awful public toilet, crowded with people and often with no doors on the cubicles and they're filthy as well. I'm not one of those people who has hang-ups about using public loos or is particularly (oh dear excuse the pun) anal about these things, so perhaps there's a more general reason underlying it?

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  6. I've known many people that have had dreams about me being naked but, I've never actually had one myself.



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    1. Haha - I take it they've all been *good* dreams?
      ;-)

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  7. Would you care for a professional's assessment? I do three dreams for the price of two on a Tuesday, as did Freud.

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