A cautionary tale: getting undressed may seriously damage your health.
I don’t normally have a problem with taking my clothes off (if you see what I mean) but last night the procedure nearly ended up in a trip to A&E.
You may or may not want to picture this.
I’m in the bedroom, halfway through disrobing – standing by the bed as I'm slipping out of my jeans when, somehow, don’t ask me how, but there was a socked-foot-gets-tangled-up-in-trouser-leg moment and I lose my balance. Feeling like it’s happening in slo-mo, but completely unable to do a thing about it, I go crashing down. I go down with such force that Mr SDS feels the floor shake in the adjacent room, and I’m not a big person…
He comes rushing in to find me, sprawled on the carpet in a most ungainly position, naked from the waist up, with my jeans around my ankles and clutching my right breast (the poor thing having taken the full force of the impact against the wooden bedpost…)* Ouch.
Light duties only for me today. I'm a little sore! The bruise on my hip is a nice shade of purple, though.
Still, it did make me think of this song...
Light duties only for me today. I'm a little sore! The bruise on my hip is a nice shade of purple, though.
Still, it did make me think of this song...
Pete Burns as I like to remember him, from that brilliant time
in the early 1980s when there was so much striking music around
getting airplay on John Peel and anything seemed possible.
I still think this is a great track - if I can put the image of the
post-plastic-surgery Pete out of my mind, and just enjoy the way he
sounds here - a bit like Scott Walker backed by the Doors?!
* Is this too much information?
I have to confess that the teenage boy in me read "naked from the waist up...jeans around the ankles" and nothing else registered until the third time around. :)
ReplyDeleteStay safe ma'am. Dangers everywhere.
In any other circumstances I'd have been quite happy like that ;-)
DeleteBut it bloody hurt and I was sober! At least I didn't lose a tooth...
I read somewhere that, statistically, most accidents happen in the bedroom. (I think this is the sort of thing they mean?)
"At least I didn't lose a tooth"
DeleteThat's a low blow.
:)
Sorry! Couldn't resist :-)
DeleteOoops! Relived to hear you're OK, if slightly bruised. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteObviously, I meant 'relieved'. Double oops.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWeird how you seem so much better equipped at dealing with falling over when you're a kid than when you're 49! It must've looked quite funny, though...
Indeed! I used to skateboard and I wince at the stuff I used to do. I recently stepped on a skate to show my son how it's done. "Step back boy, this is how you do it." Blam! On the deck and I didn't get up as quickly as I used to. I don't have that close relationship with gravity anymore.
DeleteIt's a horrible shock though, isn't it, when you realise that what you often heard older people say now suddenly applies to you too: "you just can't do what you used to do..." :-(
DeleteThat is why a Scotsman never falls over in the bedroom when he undresses. Unless he has had a few wee drams of course.
ReplyDeleteA few wee drams would certainly help to soften the blow!
DeleteI sympathise and empathise.
ReplyDeleteStruggling out of a wet wetsuit in a muddy car park or layby often ends with me in the same situation. I find it hurts more (falling over) these days but I embarrass less.
Heal quickly.
Thank you, bena48. Feeling much better today.
DeleteI've often wondered how anyone manages to get out of (or into!) a wetsuit without falling over. I imagine having to lie on one's back and wriggle about like a caterpillar, but that might not be such a good idea in a car park or layby...
Hope you don't fall over too often yourself, though!
Oh dear. I hope you're healing well, feeling better and using your recuperation time to consider back-stories, plot devices and unexpected twists for your short story. Perhaps this is an opportune time to act on Yve's suggestion that you set yourself a week to just write?
ReplyDeleteThank you and yes, that's a really nice idea. I'm relieved my right arm and hand are still ok for typing! Always a worry in my line too with the drawing, aargh :-(
DeleteMuch.!
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon.
(Sorry!)
DeleteA lot less tender today, thank you!
There is an ancient Buddhist proverb that goes something like' if you find yourself falling then the appropriate thing to do is to fall'. Guess they've got it all covered, like a cat you could then just act like you meant to do that?
ReplyDeleteI had a similar inexplicable fall not so long ago in the middle of the night but landed upon a couple of stacks of CDs. I got some cuts and bruises and to add insult then had to make a trip to an office supply shop to buy new cases for the worst of the small casualties.
Oh dear - hope you recovered as well as those CD cases, replacement body parts are not quite so easy to come by!
DeleteI like the Buddhist approach... I knew of a group of people who were in a (luckily non-fatal) car crash once, the only one who got through without any real injury was the one who had been fast asleep (no, not the driver...) The doctors said it was because his whole body had been relaxed rather than tensed up against the impact. If only it were that easy, though...
Love it!
ReplyDeleteTell you what though, when I realised how much it hurt just to do something as ridiculously stupid as fall over and hit myself in sensitive places, I wondered how/why on earth anyone would put themselves through unecessary bruising etc. via cosmetic surgery Aaaaarggggghhhhhhh, the very thought.
(And he looked fine to start with. Why did he do it?)
That's shocking, Yve. Do hope you're ok. Take care!
ReplyDeleteOh, gosh, nasty. How I empathise. I am notoriously clumsy and it's getting worse as I get older. If there's a loose paving stone around, my toe will find it. Were I but younger, I could join Charlie Caroli's team and do it for a living (much as I hate and fear clowns).
ReplyDeleteThe best you can say about your escapade is that at least the bruises are where you can't see them (often). Recover soon!
Thanks, yes I think I'm getting worse as I get older too. I fell down the stairs a few years ago and would've been ok with the fall itself if it hadn't been for the fact that as I slipped I went crashing into a large freestanding metal candleholder which then hit me on the head!
DeleteI share your hatred of clowns, btw. Awful things.
Stay safe yourself - watch those paving stones! (And those evil clowns...)